作夢者班/做夢者班 II

本論壇自 2009 起分享南開諾布仁波切之教法,目前歸屬於象雄文化。Email: dreamworkforum@gmail.com

小佛琳達《Being-in-Dreaming》摘讀系列

Being-in-Dreaming、The Wheel of Time、The Art of Dreaming 等書札記、摘譯與翻譯;個人夢修心得整理。

《Being-in-Dreaming》:You have to close the door behind you

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:14

2009/07/05 《Being-in-Dreaming》:關上身後那扇門

今天繼續摘《Being-in-Dreaming》——做夢中。下次我網站 slogan 要把 dreaming awake 換成「做夢中」,所以我說了什麼、做了什麼一概不負責,呵呵。

"With sorcerers, however, the common sense we are accustomed to is no longer in operation," he stressed.
(「但是,對於巫士來說,我們習慣的共識不再起作用,」 他強調說。)
"They have another kind of common sense, because they have other kinds of subjective states."
( 「他們有另一種共識,因為他們還有其他主體狀態。」 )
"You mean that they are like beings from another planet?" I asked.
(「你的意思是他們就像來自另一個星球的生物嗎?」 我問。)
Isidoro Baltazar laughed. "Yes. They are like beings from another planet."
(卡斯塔泥達笑了出來,說:「是啊,他們就像來自另一個星球的生物。」)
"Is that why they are so secretive?"
(「這就是為什麼他們如此秘密嗎?」)
"I don't think secretive is the right term," he remarked thoughtfully. "They deal differently with the everyday world. Their behavior appears secretive to us because we don't share the same meaning, and since we don't have any standards to measure what is common sense to them, we opt for believing that their behavior is secretive."
(「我不認為秘密是正確的用語。」 他若有所思地說:「他們對待日常生活的方式有所不同。他們的行為對我們來說是秘密的,因為我們沒有相同的含義,並且由於我們沒有任何標準可以衡量他們的共識,因此我們選擇相信他們的行為是秘密的。」)
"They do whatever we do: they sleep, they cook their meals, they read," I interjected. "Yes I could never catch them in the act. Believe me, they are secretive."
(「他們做我們所做的一切:睡覺、做飯、讀書。」 我插話說:「是的,我永遠無法理解他們的舉動。相信我,他們是秘密的。」
Smiling, he shook his head. "You saw what they wished you to see," he insisted. "And yet they weren't hiding anything from you. You couldn't see. That's all." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 166)
(他微笑著搖了搖頭:「你看到了他們希望你看到的東西,」他堅稱:「但是他們沒有對你隱藏任何東西,你無法『看見』,僅此而已。」)

這說明小佛琳達沒有能力看到唐望同夥巫士生活的層面,而並非他們要保持秘密行。說的也像藏密修行者一樣,當然後者對於不適當的人是應該要對自己所作所為所修保密,倒不是行為本身有何秘密,而是解釋起來有點複雜,不是一般人能夠懂也能夠接受,譬如說修施身法(斷法 chod),要半夜去墳場觀想把自己剁了來煮甘露湯,上供下施,主要用以去除對於肉身的貪執,當然還有克服最深的恐懼:就是死亡。那怎麼跟父母解釋說我半夜要去墳場修法?算了吧,不如不說。

下面一段正好呼應今天 Sherman 所摘葛吉夫的一段:「第四道與其他道之不同在於它對人要求的原則是瞭解。人必須不做任何他不瞭解的事,除非有老師指導與監督下的實驗。一個人對其所爲瞭解越多,他努力的結果便越大,這是第四道的一個基本原則,工作的結果與工作的意識狀態成正比。」卡斯塔尼達也說:

Isidoro Baltazar went on to say that the world of sorcerers is a sophisticated world, that it wasn't enough to understand its principles intuitively. One also needed to assimilate them intellectually. "Contrary to what people believe," he explained, "Sorcerers are not practitioners of obscure esoteric rituals but stand ahead of our times. And the mode of our time is reason. We are reasonable men as a whole. Sorcerers , however, are men of reason, which is a different matter altogether. Sorcerers have a romance with ideas; they have cultivated reason to its limits, for they believe that only by fully understanding the intellect can they embody the principles of sorcery differ drastically from us. We have very little sobriety and even less integrity." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 170)
(卡斯塔尼達繼續說,巫士世界是一個複雜的世界,僅憑直覺無法瞭解其原理,還需要從智力上去理解。他解釋說:「與人們的看法相反,巫士不是隱晦神秘儀式的修行者,而是我們時代的先驅。我們時代的方式是理性的,普遍來說我們都是講道理的。然而巫士的理智則完全是另一回事。巫士對理想充滿浪漫;他們已經將理性培養到了極限,因為他們相信只有充分理解智識,他們才能體現與我們截然不同的巫術的原理。我們則有很少的清明,甚至更少的正直。」)

南開諾布仁波切開示中提到:「大圓滿的灌頂,就跟般若波羅蜜多沒人能解釋,就算你想解釋也找不到適當的語言文字來描述,金剛乘也是一樣,金剛的真實本性(real nature of vajra)也是一樣,只能練習無法解釋。」但為何我們經常聽上師們開示教法呢?「因為上師有那樣的經驗,只能講講如何發現本性,這些經驗跟我們的人生經驗有關,……我們來介紹,不需要太多儀式。」(2009/06/14 網路直播開示,聽講筆記)小佛琳達還沒打算要加入巫士團體,或者不覺得加入有何好處,卡斯塔尼達對小佛琳達說:

"Yes, it has something very special to offer. It's called freedom. However, there's no guarantee that you'll succeed in attaining it. That any of us, for that matter, will succeed."
(「是的,它提供了非常特別的東西,叫做自由。但是,不能保證你會成功得到它,也就是不保證我們每個人都會成功。」)
I nodded thoughtfully, then asked him what I had to do to convince him that I had indeed joined the sorcerers' world.
(我若有所思地點點頭,然後問他我該怎麼做才能說服他我已確實加入了巫士的世界。)
"You don't have to convince me. You have to convince the spirit. You have to close the door behind you."
(「妳不必說服我,妳必須說服『力量』,妳必須關上身後那扇門。」)
"What door?"
(「什麼門?」)
"The one you still keep open. The door that will permit you to escape if things are not to your liking or don't fit your expectations. I will not convince you or anyone else. There will be no power in your decision if you need to be propped up every time you falter or doubt. " (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 177)
(「就是妳還開著的那扇門,如果事情不是妳所喜歡的或不符合妳的期望,妳會從那扇門逃脫。我不會說服妳或任何其他人。如果妳做出決定,你就沒權力在每次妳舉步維艱或懷疑時還需要支持。」)

我覺得卡氏這番話對想要在修行上拜師或入道的人有同樣參考的價值。不僅僅是因為什麼三昧耶戒不可以棄師背道,而是端賴我們修行的承諾有多強。這不是像談戀愛,女朋友不好再換一個,所以審慎觀察瞭解是必須的。
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 4158
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

Mundane Chores but Artful Endeavors

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:15

2009/07/06 Mon, sunny/cloudy/raining, outdoor 35-31°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:世俗勞務,善巧努力

2009/07/06《Being-in-Dreaming》:世俗勞務,善巧努力

Being-in-Dreaming 十三章說的是小佛琳達在卡斯塔尼達的 studio(工作室)睡覺時被茶壺吵醒(嗯什麼意思我不大知道我看得很粗略),她滿身大汗臭罵卡氏一頓,心中卻毫無瞋意,後來她還是奪門而出且注意要把門甩很大聲,開車去海邊吹風卻沒風可吹還下雨。後來她收拾收拾直接殺去巫士之家,雖然自己方向感很差卻記路分毫不差。她來到看似無人的巫士之家,待在上次招待的房間,聽見女巫士們輕聲笑語就是沒看見人,然而每天都有食物準備給她。一晚她聽見女巫士們在彼此取笑,罵些婊子等等很不堪的粗話。

後來 caretaker(看護者)出現解釋說那是她們故意在描述小佛琳達的德行給她聽。意思是——我跳過去沒仔細看 ——她對 nagual 卡斯塔尼達予取予求,自己卻是放縱到骨子裡的爛婊子。婊子不是說性行為氾濫,婊子代表一種女性特質最壞的一面。因為 nagual 已經不再是一個普通男人(he was no longer a man),男女巫士間也不是建立在世俗男女的關係上,而是力量的結構,這是我自己理解的。

Caretaker 跟小佛琳達講到,女巫士們本來將小佛琳達歸類為潛獵者,因為她不費力可以進入 dreaming-awake (醒著做夢)的狀態,而其是強化意識——潛獵者的專業我們說過了,所以為什麼她繼承了老佛琳達——唐望巫士團體頭號女潛獵者——的名號,在個性上也理應複製老佛琳達的「完美無缺地沒耐性」與其他特質,譬如說美麗啦,除了身高以外:老佛琳達 5'11"(180cm),小佛琳達 5'2" (158cm)不到。Caretaker 說:

"Since your are not in the planet of the dreamers," he clarified, "your dreams are nightmares, and your transitions between dreams and reality are very unstable and dangerous to you and to the other dreamers. So Florinda has taken in upon herself to buffer and protect you." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 200)
(「由於妳不屬於做夢者,」他澄清說,「妳的夢就是噩夢,而且妳在夢與現實之間的轉換對妳和其他做夢者來說都是非常不穩定和危險的。所以佛琳達自己採取行動來緩衝和保護妳。」)

小佛琳達書真的寫的不好,人家還沒講完她又發飆了說她不要聽:「I don't want to know anything else!」(其他事情我不想知道!)真是的,她不要聽我要聽啊,一打斷後面又不講了;然後下一章她自己回憶說一開始以為四個女做夢者巫士是潛獵者,然後也不講了,這已經是她第三本書了,總要把自己為什麼成為 Grau(葛拉烏)家族的交代清楚吧?!(按:Grau 是「唐望集團」做夢者的 last name。)無論如何小佛琳達跟卡氏賭氣出走到巫士之家,雖然沒見到半個鬼在那,但也沒餓著,她回來 LA 後覺得:

It wasn't that I was suddenly a changed person, but rather there was a clear purpose to my existence. My fate was delineated for me: I had to struggle to free my energy. And that was that. Simplicity itself.
(不是我突然變了個人,而是我存在的明確目標。我的命運已為我描繪:我必須努力釋放自己的能量。就是這樣。)

The nugual Isidoro Baltazar, nevertheless, warned me about the fallaciousness of clear-cut goals and emotionally charged realizations. He said that they were worthless, because the real arena of a sorcerer is the day-to-day life, and there, superficial rationales do not withstand pressure. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 211)
(然而,nugual 卡斯塔尼達警告我明確的目標和充滿情緒的瞭解的謬誤。他說,這些一文不值,因為巫士的真正競技場是日常生活,膚淺的理由無法承受壓力。)

這個跟我最近哪裡看到的一樣,應該是唐望故事說到當你感動地以為瞭解了什麼的時候,事實上你什麼也沒瞭解。所以這種感動是不值錢的。在出體經驗當中我比較接近巫士的無情,什麼事情都不會讓我感動或觸動,不管是看到神聖光華也好,不管是誰說的一句什麼話也好,但我雖不會感動依然會發飆,唉,你確定我是做夢者嗎?

At the witches' house, I interacted with all the sorcerers of the nagual Mariano Aureliano's party. They didn't teach me sorcery or even dreaming. According to them, there was nothing to teach. They said that my task was to remember everything that had transpired between all of them and me during those initial times that we were together. In particular, I was to remember everything that Zuleica and Florinda did or said to me—but Zuleica had never talked to me. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 213)
(在女巫之家裡,我和 nagual 卡斯塔尼達與唐望團體所有巫士成員彼此互動。他們沒有教我巫術或甚至做夢。 據她們說,沒有什麼可教的。他們說,我的任務是憶起在我們一起的最初時期,所有人與我之間發生的一切。特別是,我要記得蘇麗卡和佛琳達對我所做的一切或對我說過的一切,但蘇麗卡從未與我交談。)

這真是蠻慘的,一開頭「灌頂」(initiation,入會)時什麼都教了、什麼都說了,你得好好去回憶。甚至女巫士還說記不得是妳的事,我們沒有那個「印第安時間」理妳:

Whenever I tried to ask any of them for help, they outright refused to have anything to do with me. They all argued that, without the necessary energy on my part, all they would do would be to repeat themselves, and that they didn't have time for that. (Being-in-Dreaming, 213)
(每當我試圖向他們中的任何一位尋求幫助時,他們都會完全拒絕與我有任何關係。他們都爭辯說,如果沒有我自己必要的能量,他們自己只會做重複的事,而他們沒有時間這樣做。)

曾經有位想加入做夢者班「讀書會」的賽斯迷(按:她以為是「讀書會」),跟我們組員們大吐自己的慘烈現況,無論是身、心都瀕臨崩潰解體,emails 一來一往好多次,最後我說「沒有能量自己去找能量,談論無益」類似的話,還給了她相關資訊。過了好久一陣子,她像沒事一樣問我們怎麼不討論做夢了呢?我說因為我沒有寄給妳呀,她就沒再出現了。

接下來是有解釋一點小佛琳達為何屬於做夢者,及唐望團體做夢者女巫士本來就不是潛獵者:

Via our daily interaction, however, I realized scores of things about their world. The dreamers and the stalkers embodied two modes of behavior among women, as different as they could be.
(但是,經由我們的日常互動,我意識到了有關他們世界的許多事情。做夢者和潛獵者在女性中反映了兩種行為模式,二者十分不同。)

Initially, I wondered whether the group that was described to me as the dreamers—Nelida, Hermelinda, and Clara—were the actual stalkers. For as far as I could ascertain, my interaction with them was on a strictly everyday, worldly level. Only later did I fully realize that their mere presence elicited—without even any hint of it—a new modality of behavior on my part. That is , I felt no need to reassert myself with them.
(一開始,我想知道被描述為做夢者的那組——奈莉達、赫米琳達和克萊拉——是不是真正的潛獵者。就我所能確定的而言,我與她們的互動僅限於日常生活世俗層面上進行。直到後來,我才完全意識到,她們的存在只是引發我一種新的行為方式,甚至沒有任何暗示。也就是說,我覺得沒有必要對她們重申自己。)

It wasn't long before I realized that the women dreamers, by interacting with me on a worldly level, were giving me the necessary model to rechannel my energies. They wanted me to change the manner in which I focused on mundane matters such as cooking, cleaning, laundering, staying in school, or earning a living. There were to be done, they told me, under different auspices; they were not to be mundane chores but artful endeavors, one as important as the other. (Being-in-Dreaming, pp. 213-214)
(不久之後,我意識到女做夢者藉著與我在世俗的層面上互動,為我提供了重新分配能量的必要模式。她們要我改變專注於日常事務的方式,例如做飯、打掃清潔、洗衣服、留在學校或謀生。她們告訴我,這些要在不同的支持下來做;它們不是平凡的瑣事,而是善巧的努力,每一樣都同等重要。)

最後一段我畫了本書第一個星號,為什麼呢?做夢者要從日常練習開始,不是光顧著睡,唐望也說做夢練習要醒時來做。這跟南開諾布仁波切講的 four mindfulness:有四個時刻持續保持覺知,那就是吃、坐、走跟睡(eating, sitting, walking and sleeping), 也是同理。更有甚者,人家做夢者洗衣、拖地、燒飯、上學、上班都要是「做夢的藝術」才行。
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 4158
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

《Being-in-Dreaming》:男人才要努力,女人等做夢來找

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:15

2009/07/07 Tue, sunny/cloudy, indoor 31.4°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:無期待,無懊悔

小佛琳達說,巫士前輩什麼都不教只要她回憶起最初他們夢中見面的內容就可以,這點我也很訝異。Esperanza 說:

"Freedom is terribly frightening. Freedom requires spontaneous acts. You have no idea what it is to abandon yourself spontaneously ..."
(「自由極其可怕。自由需要“自發的行動”(任運自成)。妳不知道“自發捨棄自己”是什麼……」)

"Of course you didn't deliberate about it. But your acts of spontaneity are due to a lack of thought rather than to an act of abandon. A real spontaneous act is an act in which you abandon yourself completely but only after profound deliberation. An act where all the pros and cons have been taken into consideration and duty discarded, for you expect nothing, you regret nothing. With acts of that nature, sorcerers beckon freedom." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 156)
(「當然,妳也沒想太多。但是,妳“自發之行動”是出於缺乏深思熟慮,而不是出於“捨棄之行動”。真正的自發性行動是指妳經過深思熟慮後才完全捨棄自己的一項行動。這是考慮到所有優缺點並拋棄本分的行動,因為你什麼也不期待,所以你也什麼都不後悔。巫士便是以這種行動召喚自由。」)

摘得有點跳來跳去。進入第十三章,小佛琳達說她自己從來不是一個 good sleeper(善睡者),但自從老佛琳達有次到卡氏的工作室來看她後,她可以一連睡好個鐘頭只是為了做夢。她發現自己改變了一點就是「no longer enjoy my complaining as I used to」(不再像以前那樣喜歡抱怨)(p. 193)卡氏身為 nagual,卻說他沒辦法幫她或教他做夢,即便他自己受教於唐望學習「做夢的藝術」。他說:

"You know that I cannot help you. Women have a different dreaming avenue. I can't even convince what women do to dream."
(「你知道我無法幫妳。女人有一種不同的做夢途徑。我甚至沒辦法說服對女人要做什麼才能做夢。」)

"You ought to know, with so many women in your world," I retorted churlishly.
(「你應該知道,你這邊有那麼多女人(女巫士)。」我諷刺地說。

He laughed; nothing seemed to alter his good spirits. "I can't even begin to conceive what women do to dream," he went on. "Males have to struggle incessantly to arrange their attention in dreams; women don't struggle, but they do have to acquire inner discipline. There is one thing that might help you. Don't approach dreaming in your usual compulsive manner. Let it come to you." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 194)
他笑笑,似乎沒改變他的好心情。「我甚至無法開始設想女性要做什麼才能做夢。」他繼續說:「男性必須不斷地努力在夢中使自己的注意力集中;女人則不用努力,但她們必須獲得內在的紀律。有一件事可能對妳有幫助:不要用通常的強迫性方式來做夢;讓做夢自己來找妳。」

秋竹仁波切《秋瘋塵念紋》書裡說男女就是不同,不能相提並論。卡氏說男人才要努力,女人等做夢來找,就好像是等約會一樣。真的嗎?我們真的什麼事都不用做嗎?
SW
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《Being-in-Dreaming》:停止關切自我最好的方法就是去關切他人

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:16

2009/07/08 Wed, sunny/cloudy, indoor 31.4°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:停止關切自我最好的方法就是去關切他人

接續十二章卡氏提到修行道最終的自由,但不保證每個人都可以獲得成功,至少他活著時也失敗了,只好拼中陰生了。卡氏身為一位 nagual、巫士團體的領袖,他跟小佛琳達強調:

"I will (help you). I'm your servant. But I serve the spirit first. A warrior is not a slave but a servant of the spirit. Slaves have no choice; servants do. Their choice is to serve impeccably.
(「我會(幫妳)。 我是你的僕人,但我先服務『力量』。戰士不是奴隸,而是『力量』的僕人。奴隸別無選擇;僕人亦然。他們的選擇是無懈可擊。)

"My help is exempt from calculation," he continued. "I cannot invest in you, and neither, of course, can you invest in me or in the sorcerers' world. This is the basic premise of that world: nothing is done in it that might be construed a useful; only strategic acts are permitted. This is what the nugual Juan Matus taught me and the way I live: a sorcerer practices what he or she preaches. And yet nothing is done for practical reasons. When you get to understand and practice this, you will have closed the door behind you." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 182)
(「我的幫助不用計算。」他繼續說道,「我無法投資妳,當然妳也無法投資我或巫士界。這是該世界的基本前提:在那個世界上所做的事情沒有一個會被認為是有用的;僅戰略行動被允許。這就是 Nagual 唐望(Juan Matus)教給我的以及我生活的方式:巫士實修他或她所傳講的東西。但是出於實修上的原因,什麼也沒做。當妳了解並實修這一點時,妳將關上身後的門。)

這段應該加到 2009/07/05 那篇後面。但小佛琳達還是很頑劣,老佛琳達來跟她說教,說:「You haven't changed at all.」(妳一點都沒有改變。)(p. 182)不僅唐望團體新入會成員需要檢視自己的改變,在佛法中心,上師也一再告誡弟子先不用修什麼高級佛法,先觀察自己的貪瞋痴有沒有減少,這說的其實是「我」有沒有減少。老佛琳達說:

"A real change is not a change of mood or attitude or outlook. A real change involves a total transformation of the self."
(「真正的改變不是情緒、態度或觀念的改變。真正的改變涉及自我的完全轉變。」)

"A kind of change I'm talking about cannot be accomplished in three months or in a year or in ten. It will take a lifetime."
(「我所說的某種改變不可能在三個月或一年或十年內完成。這它將花費整個一生。」)

"The world of sorcerers is a dream, a myth, yet it is as real as the everyday world. In order to perceive and to function in the sorcerers' world, we have to take off the everyday mask that has been strapped to our faces since the day we were born and put on the second mask, the mask that enables us to see ourselves and our surroundings for what we really are: breathtaking events that bloom into transitory existence once and never to be repeated again. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 183)
(「巫士的世界是一個夢,一個神話,但它卻與每天的世界一樣真實。為了感知並在巫士的世界中發揮作用,我們必須摘下自我們出生那時以來便戴在臉上的日常面具,並戴上第二個面具,這個面具使我們能夠看到自己和周圍的環境,了解我們的本來面目:如此奇異哉——曾一度短暫綻放就不再出現。)

上面提到第二個面具,小佛琳達問如何 make this mask(製作這個面具)?老佛琳達說藉由夢到「分身」,「By dreaming your other self」。老佛琳達繼續說教:

"Women are not accountable. This lack of accountability gives women a great deal of fluidity. Unfortunately, women rarely, if ever, make use of this advantages. These hardest thing to grasp about the sorcerers' world is that it offers total freedom. But freedom is not free."
(「女性不用負責任。 缺乏責任性給女性帶來了很大的流暢性。不幸的是,女性很少(如果有的話)利用這種優勢。關於巫士世界最難把握的是,它提供了完全的自由。但是自由不是免費的。」)
"What does freedom cost?"
(「自由要花多少錢?」)

"Freedom will cost you the mask you have on. The mask that feels so comfortable and is so hard to shed off, not because it fits so well but because you have been wearing it for so long."
(「自由的代價就是妳所戴上的面具。這種面具感覺舒適且很難脫落,不是因為它很合適,而是因為妳戴了這麼久。」)

"Do you know what freedom is " she asked rhetorically. "Freedom is the total absence of concern about yourself. And the best way to quit being concerned with yourself is to be concerned about others." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 184)
(「你知道自由是什麼?」 她反問道,「自由就是完全不用擔心你自己。而放棄自己的最好方法就是去關心別人。」)

塞,老佛琳達終於講出巫士佛法的精要:停止關切自我最好的方法就是去關切他人。我一直覺得魯宓網站說什麼「這是一個沙漠,期待人性溫暖,情感交流的人請止步」有點問題,不關切他人也是一種自我關切。
SW
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兩個破:(1)破除二元指涉;(2)破除感官界線

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:16

2009/07/11 Sat, sunny/cloudy, outdoor 34°C, indoor 32.4°C 兩個破:(1)破除二元指涉;(2)破除感官界線

小佛琳達1992 Dimension 雜誌採訪稿(口語表達都很長),有 24 頁,看到 14 頁,講到幾個我蠻訝異的內容(以前看過忘了或沒注意到)。包括幾點大圓滿教法所強調的重點,兩個破:(1)破除二元指涉(dualism connotation);(2)破除感官界線(barriers of perception)我們來水乳交融摘一下:

FLORINDA D: From the western point of view, the idea of a brujo, or a witch, has always a negative connotation. They couldn't care less, because for these people, the abstract quality of sorcery voids automotatically [sic] any positive or negative connotation of the term. We are apes on one level, but we have this other magical side. In that sense we relive a myth. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with Alexander Blair-Ewart, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:從西方的觀點來看,布魯霍或巫婆的觀念總是帶有負面含義。他們一點也不在乎,因為對於這些人來說,巫術的抽象特質會自動(無意識地)清空該名稱的任何正負含義。我們在一個層面上是類人猿,但我們還有另外一個神奇的方面。從這個意義上說,我們重新活過了一個神話。)

南開諾布仁波切:若你想得到解脫自由,你必須擁有能連結上你真實本性覺知的力量。你的真實本性並非二元觀待(dualistic vision),好與壞的概念跟感知(perception)有關,其本身就是我們業力的結果。(重譯,Dream Yoga and the Practice of Natural Light, p. 141)

〔原譯:若你真想得到解脫,必須擁有與自心本性覺知相結合的能力。你的自心本性並非二元論。善惡思想都與我們業力所生的概念之果相關聯。(簡體《夢瑜珈》p. 187)〕

Automotatically 是自動或無意識地,因為中譯者沒有抓對 keyword(關鍵字)譯,上句最重要的是講「感知是業力所致」:Ideas of good and bad are linked with perception, which is itself the result of our karma(好與壞的觀念都與感知有關,其本身就是我們業力的結果)。對西方人來說沒有業力這個詞,但講到感官的形成,跟整個人類文化社會有關,也是一種相同眾生的共業。

接下來還有第二點。

FLORINDA D: There is no blueprint. Because each new group has to find their own way to deal with this idea of trying to break the barriers of perception. The only way we can break the barriers of perception, according to Don Juan, is that we need energy. All our energy is already deployed in the world to present the idea of self- what we are, who we want to be perceived as, how other people perceive us. So Don Juan says 90% of our energy is deployed in doing that, and nothing new can come to us. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with Alexander Blair-Ewart, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(我們沒有藍圖。因為每個新的小組都必須找到自己的方式來應對這種試圖打破感知障礙的想法。根據唐望的說法,我們打破感知障礙唯一的方式就是我們需要能量。我們所有的能量都已經投入到這世界,以展現自我的概念——即我們是什麼、我們想被感知為誰、別人如何感知我們。因此唐望說,我們有90%的能量都用在這上面,沒有新的可以拿來使用。)

The teaching of Dzogchen is in essence a teaching concerning the primordial 原始的、本初的 state of being that is each individual's own intrinsic 本質的nature from the very beginning. To enter this state of the universe - though not in the ordinary ego sense. The ordinary ego-centered consciousness is precisely the limited cage of dualistic vision that closed off the experience of one's own true nature, which is the space of the primordial state. (The Crystal and the Way of Light, p. 12)
(大圓滿教法實質上是關於每一個體本初狀態(the primordial state)的教法,本初狀態乃是每一個體從無始以來自己本俱之本性。要契入這個狀態,即是去體驗自己如同宇宙的中心,儘管這不是在普通的自我感知之下。以自我為中心的普通意識正是二元觀待(dualistic vision)受限之牢寵,隔絕了吾人對自己真正本性、即本初狀態空界(space)的體驗。)(《水晶與光道》p. 28)

我找一下南開師有關感知的開示。我已經有五月中的開示謄稿,來把下面段落找齊,因為自我之戰是巫士戰士畢生之役,這段內容是:

ABE: What's the nature of the battle? Because you use the language of the warrior. What's the nature of the battle? What are you fighting?
(雜誌社:戰鬥的本質是什麼? 因為您使用戰士的語言,那何謂戰鬥的本質? 你們又在奮鬥什麼?)
FLORINDA D: The self. It's not even the self; it's an idea of the self, because if we would really get the self below the surface, we don't really know what it is. And it is possible to curtail this idea, this bombastic idea we have of the self. Because whether it's a negative idea or a positive idea doesn't really matter. The energy employed to sustain that idea is the same.
(小佛琳達:自己,甚至那也不是我自己,只是關於自我的一個想法,因為如果我們真的將自我置於表面之下,我們就不會真正知道它是什麼。是有可能減少這種想法,即我們對自我的那種誇張的想法。因為無論這是惡念還是善念,也不是真的重要。維持該想法所消耗的能量是一樣的。)

ABE: So there's tremendous emphasis in this tradition on overcoming what is called self-importance.
(雜誌社:所以這種傳統非常強調克服所謂的「自我重要感性」。)

FLORINDA D: Self-importance, exactly. That's the main battle. To shut off our internal dialogue. Because even if we're isolated someplace, we are still constantly talking to ourselves. That internal dialogue never stops. And what does the internal dialogue do? It always justifies itself, no matter what. We replay things, events, what we could have said or could have done, what we feel or don't feel. The emphasis is always on me. We're constantly spouting this mantra- me...me...me, silently or verbally. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with Alexander Blair-Ewart, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:正是自我重要感,那是主要的戰鬥。關閉我們的內在對話,因為即使我們隱匿在某處,我們仍在不斷地與自己說話。內在對話永遠不會停止。內在對話的作用是什麼?無論如何,它總是為自己辯護。我們重播事物、事件、我們本可以說或做的事情、我們感覺到或沒感覺到的事。重點總是放在我身上。我們一直在無聲地或口頭上唸著這個咒語:我……我……我……我。)

南開諾布上師有關「自我」的開示:

一、南開諾布 2009/05/15 網路開示「四法寶鬘」(1)
「比如我們現在都是人類,所有的人類都具有人類的業力之見(karmic vision)。同樣的,地獄眾生他們也有關於地獄的見。……我們所能夠具體接觸到的只是我們人類的層面而已。為什麼我們會有這樣一個具體的層面?因為我們積累了人類道的因,因此就會產生所謂的業力的見,我們在業力的狀況下見到人類的層面,直到我們死亡之前我們都一直會擁有這樣的見(vision,也可以說是感知)。
……因為我們人類眾生都有很強的我執,……所以我們總是以心智的方式去學習。……佛陀在顯宗當中說,一切萬法都是緣起而生。如果我跟某個人之間有問題,這個事情也是緣起而生的。如果我是完全無辜的,那就不可能有問題產生。因此,我們需要自我觀察,觀照自身的問題。」

二、南開諾布 2009/05/17 網路開示「四法寶鬘」(3)
「在末法時代這樣的上師就好比是佛陀的化現,我們應該親近這樣的上師遵循並跟隨他,如果我們親近這樣的上師就能得到很多的利益,也能夠瞭解輪迴的真正狀況,瞭解一切有為法都是無常,而不會去執著那些世間法,我們才能從幻相和我執中解脫出來。」

三、南開諾布 2009/05/18 網路開示「四法寶鬘」(4)
「galam(五道中的修道)是禪修的狀態,達到這個層面,你就會瞭解什麼叫做不二覺觀,……這個時刻就完美證悟了十六種空性,……他們的行為則是和六波羅蜜有關,也就是六度。這裏有兩種無我,第一個是人無我,第二種叫做法無我……這些都是對治煩惱的方法。我們知道,一切事物都好比是夢幻泡影,我們沒有必要去拒絕和接受他們,我們知道他們是虛幻的。」
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自己的能量被自己感知而成外在世界

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:20

2009/07/11 自己的能量被自己感知而成外在世界

正好讀到《水晶與光道》中文版有相應於今天的主題:perception 跟 self 的關係,如此才能說幻相。這部分中文跟英文對不大起來,不知道孫一拿的是什麼版,中文是:

(說到 Essence, Nature and Energy)此「能」有三種具特性的方式來顯現,Zal、Rolba 和 Dan。「查」(Zal)顯現為一個看似為外在世界的方式。於是一位進入二元狀態的眾生會覺得自己生活在一個封閉的自我中,誤認他自己諸官能(senses)的投影(投射)是與他所執著的自我分開存在的東西。……同樣地那是眾生自己的「能」被那個眾生自己的官能所覺察(感知)而顯現為一個看似外在現象的世界。(舊版《水晶與光道》p. 73)

「查」(Tsal)是個體自己能量的顯現,形成一個看似「外在」的世界。但事實上,這個明顯看來是外在的世界,是我們自己在「查」這個層次能量的顯現。然而,伴隨二取分別的生起,自存個體之幻相亦同時產生,此個體覺得與其經驗為外在的世界分離。這支離破碎的二元心識,將感官投射誤認為自力存在、並與虛妄「自我」分離的客體,用以認同並執取。(象雄文化《水晶與光道》2019年二版 p. 91)

我只是想搞懂幾個關鍵字而已,有了二元、自我跟感知,這樣就清楚多了。上面講的 Zal 是屬於化身層面,接下來的另兩項,分別屬於報身跟法身層面。譬如說 Rolba 若巴,比較跟我們做夢的境界相關,因為它被譬喻為水晶球中被看到外在世界的內在縮影,以能量來說(南師集團翻譯成「內能」),其「會顯現為一個內在經驗到的像('internally' experienced image),好像是由心眼(mind's eyes)所見」(p. 73),這就是所謂的淨觀(pure vision),書裡提到覺悟眾生的這個層次的經驗為報身,「所指的是在此層次能夠顯現多種奇異的形象」(p. 74)。

我想講的是即便稱為內在影像或內在經驗的影像,都跟身體的感官無涉,但是一位夢修行者若能相對地降低自我我執的業力觀(karmic vision),就比較能接近報身層次的 pure vision。當然法身層面的能量顯現(Dan)是無限無相的,如同眾生的能量本來也是無形無相的,由於執著(attachment)的緣故,「含藏於我們意識流之業力軌跡卻引起我們經驗為身、語、意之諸多形式,還有我們感知為外在環境的那些東西。」(象雄文化《水晶與光道》2019年二版 p. 91)。是故出體有沒有一個身體,能不能說話,有無心意也都是習慣的緣故。

這樣摘實在有點累。小佛琳達說的好,一旦停止內在對話,就出現一個開口嗎?

ABE: So, an opening emerges when...
(雜誌社:所以,一個開口出現了,當……)

FLORINDA D: ...when that dialogue shuts off. Automatically. We don't have to do anything. And the reason people reject Castaneda as not true is because it's too simple. But its sheer simplicity makes it the hardest thing there is to do for us.
(小佛琳達:……當內在對話關閉時。這完全是自動的。我們不需要做任何事情。人們之所以反駁卡斯塔尼達,是因為它太簡單了。但就是因為它這麼單純簡單反而使得它變成對我們最難辦到的事情。)

ABE: So here is the image, then, or the awareness of a kind human being who is travelling a parallel path to the world of the Tonal, or the world of the person, the social person. This other world, his other opening, is something that has apparently always been there.
(雜誌社:那麼,這就是種印象,或者這是一種善良人類的意識,他正在平行的道途上走向Tonal的世界,或人的世界,社會人的世界。而另一個世界,他的另一個開口,似乎一直都在那裡。)

FLORINDA D: Yes, it's always there. It's available to all of us. Nobody wants to tap into it, or people think they want to tap into it, but as Don Juan pointed out, the seeker is involved in something else, because a person who seeks already knows what he's seeking.
(小佛琳達:是的,它一直在那兒,我們每個人都可以企及。沒有人想利用它,或者人們認為他們想利用它,但是正如唐望所指出的那樣,追尋者還參與了其他事情,因為追尋者已經知道自己在追尋什麼。)

The disappointment that so many people who are "seekers" have with Castaneda is because, when he talks to them, well, they have already made up their mind how things should be. And they are not open. Even if they're listening, they're not open to anything anymore, because they already know how it should be, what it is they're seeking. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with Alexander Blair-Ewart, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(如此多的「追尋者」對卡斯塔尼達感到失望是因為,當他與他們交談時,他們已經下定了決心事情應該是怎樣的。他們並沒有敞開。即使他們在聽,他們也不再對任何事物敞開,因為他們已經知道應該怎樣做、他們正在尋找的是什麼。)
SW
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唐望故事是操作手冊;禁慾才能獲得能量

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:20

2009/07/12 Sun, sunny, outdoor 27-35°C, indoor 32.6°C 唐望故事是操作手冊;禁慾才能獲得能量

凌晨看到小佛琳達講到比較對應於南開師講無限的潛能、自我的囚籠的一段:

FLORINDA D: Yes, exactly, very complex. For Don Juan and his people, to talk about sorcery and witchcraft, with all those negative connotations, they couldn't care less what we called the practices. For them it was very very abstract. To them sorcery is an abstraction, and it was this idea of expanding the limits of perception. Because, for them, our choices in life are limited by the social order. We have boundless options, but by accepting these choices, of course, we set a limit to our limitless possibilities.
(小佛琳達:是的,非常複雜。對於唐望和他的同儕,在談到巫術也就是我們所稱的修行時,對於巫術一詞帶著所有這些負面含義,他們根本不在乎。對他們來說,這是非常抽象。 對於他們,巫術就是一種抽象,指的是擴大感知範圍。 因為對他們來說,我們的生活中的選擇受到社會秩序的限制。我們有無限的選擇,但是藉由接受這些選擇,當然,我們就為無限的可能性設定了極限。)

FLORINDA D: ....lost or caged in by the social order. They put blinds on us the moment we are born. Look at the way we coerce the child to perceive the way we perceive. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with ABE, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:……這是因社會秩序而迷失被其關入牢籠。我們一出生,這些就屏蔽了我們。看看我們強迫孩子以我們感知的方式感知。)

正好《水晶與光道》上也講到:「在大圓滿中重要的是行者必須實際觀察自己,看看自己身語心的狀態是怎樣的,於是行者發現在每個官能中自己是怎樣被限制的,自己是怎樣被關在二元之籠的諸限制之中的。……所以第一件要做的是發現籠子。」(舊版,pp. 82-83)

再回來講小佛琳達的訪談。小佛琳達對於採談所問依然有些交代不清,譬如記者問她為何卡氏寫這些書,她的答案則是說總有些人會認真看待,然後 get hooked(上鉤),但是她並沒有說唐望斯人已遠,卡氏最後千山獨行,get hooked(上鉤)以後的這些人該如何修學呢?這不應該是一位被稱為 new seer 的淺碟式回答。

ABE: Why did Castaneda write his books?
(雜誌社:為何卡斯塔尼達要寫書?)

FLORINDA D.: Because it was a task; it was a sorceric task. That Don Juan impressed upon him. Castaneda is the last of his line. There is no one else. There's a group of Indians that we work with. You see, Don Juan, in a weird way made almost a mistake with Castaneda, when he first was put in touch, whatever the design or power of the spirit was which put Don Juan face to face with Castaneda. And he rallied right away. And then, years later, Don Juan realizes that that's not the way Castaneda is going. Castaneda was even more abstract than Don Juan was. His path was a totally different path.
(小佛琳達:因為這是一項任務;這是一項艱鉅的任務,是唐望強迫他做的。卡斯塔尼達是他這支傳承的最後一人,沒有其他人了。我們與一群印第安人一起共事。你知道,唐望第一次接觸卡斯塔尼達時,以一種奇怪的方式幾乎使他犯下一個錯誤,無論這是「力量」的設計或引導,而使唐望面對卡斯塔尼達,他都立刻整編起來。然而幾年後,唐望才意識到那不是卡斯塔尼達的發展方向。卡斯塔尼達比唐望更抽象。他的道途是完全不同的修道。
Well, somebody has to get hooked by it. And people do. For us, for our mentality as the western ape, as Don Juan always called us, you see, we have to be hooked first intellectually, because obviously that's how our whole being works.
好吧,必須有人上鉤。人就是這樣。對於我們來說,就像唐望一直稱呼我們為西方猿猴一樣,你瞧,我們首先必須心智上先上鉤,因為顯然這就是我們全體人類的運作方式。)

ABE: So, the knowledge is made available to millions of people, and people become hooked by it. And does that mean that the tradition has now begun to proliferate itself in that way, also?
(雜誌社:因此(因為卡氏的書),這種知識觸及數以百萬計的人,並且人們都迷上它了(上鉤了)。難道這也意味著該傳統現在已經開始以這種方式開枝散葉了嗎?)
FLORINDA D: I don't know. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with ABE, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:這我就不知道了。)

這就是回答,有點令人失望的回答。整個訪談沒有超出我們本來從唐望故事系列書籍上就知道的事情,不過有一個很小的地方,當記者問若是有人get hooked by this tradition (被此傳承鉤上)怎麼知道呢?小佛琳達講到:「For instance, Castaneda's books spell out very clearly...if you read Castaneda's books carefully, they're almost manuals.」(例如,卡斯塔尼達的書很清楚地說明了……如果你仔細閱讀卡斯塔尼達的書,它們幾乎等同操作手冊。)言下之意,如果唐望迷真的被這個傳承所吸引且願意付諸實行,參照卡氏所寫十一本的「操作手冊」就可以按表操課了。這真的是有點鋌而走險。我覺得這是一個不負責的方式。

另外小佛琳達也如同本書一開頭講到女性的子宮是能量的基地,性交使女性成為男人的能量供應商,而所有巫士能做的練習唯有能量到位才能進行。接著記者當然要問如何聚集能量,難道要獨身嗎(實指禁慾)?小佛琳達說:「 Well, it's very difficult, but it would be a good try, at least to start out with.」(好吧,這很困難, 也白費工夫,至少可以從這開始。)

ABE: How do you accumulate energy?
(雜誌社:妳如何積累能量?)

FLORINDA D: To start off with, at least at the beginning, it was Don Juan's idea that the best energy that we have is our sexual energy. It's the only energy that we really have, and most of our sexual energy is squandered.
(小佛琳達:至少從這開始,這是唐望的想法,我們擁有的最佳能量就是我們的性能量。 這是我們真正擁有的唯一能量,而我們的大部分性能量都被浪費掉了。)

It's the same for men and women. The only thing is with women you see that energetically the woman takes on the burden of feeding the man through their energetic filaments. So, in that sense, it's worse for women. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with ABE, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(男女都一樣。 唯一的問題是女性,你會發現在能量上女性透過能量纖維擔負著餵養男人的重擔。 因此,從這個意義上講,情況對女性而言是更糟的。)

另有一點是大圓滿跟唐望傳承相同的態度是:不判斷也不排拒任何事情。

you can abandon this idea of the self. It's not that you're going to laugh at others. But you find them despicable, and yet you don't want to judge them, either. You know, Don Juan always said if some truthful change has taken place there is no way to be rejected, whatever it means to be rejected. I don' t know. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with ABE, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(你可以放棄這種自我觀念,而不是你去嘲笑其他人。而是你發現他們很可鄙,然而你卻不想判斷他們。 你知道嗎,唐望總是說,如果確實發生了一些變化也無法拒絕,無論拒絕是什麼意思。我不知道。)

小佛琳達什麼都不知道。最後訪談的結論是,為什麼我們要看小佛琳達寫的《Being-in-Dreaming》,何況又寫得那麼爛呢?

ABE: Why would a woman read this book Being-in-Dreaming?
(雜誌社:為何一個女人會讀這本《做夢中》?)

FLORINDA D: Well, if nothing else, I think people who have been interested in the Castaneda work, would be interested to see it presented from a female's perspective, from somebody who has been in that work for over twenty years. I do approach the problems differently, probably more directly. The thing is perception. Even our human bodies...the body is, again, a consequence of perception. We are trapped as persons; we are trapped in language, and that's exactly what the sorcerer, through energy, wants to get out of. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with ABE, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:嗯,如果沒有別的,我想那些對卡斯塔尼達的書感興趣的人,也會對從一個女性角度所提出的論述感興趣,特別來自一個在此領域從事20年的人。我的確解決問題的方式不同,可能更為直接。整件事就是知覺。 甚至我們的身體……身體也是感知的結果。 我們被困為個別的人;我們被語言所困,那正是巫士透過能量想要擺脫的。)

剛好講到身語意的層面,所有的限制需要靠能量來破除。
SW
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文章: 4158
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
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《Being-in-Dreaming》:知識跟修行並不衝突

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:20

2009/07/13 Mon, raining/cloudy/sunny, outdoor 28-33°C, indoor 31.1°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:知識跟修行並不衝突

根據小佛琳達的說法,為什麼她要去念 PhD,不僅是因為卡氏崇尚知識的追求,她說只有真正進入後出來才有資格說話。

ABE: So, there was the sorcerer's task of writing the books. What I'm trying to get at is, that this knowledge, just as knowledge, becomes available now and is available to millions of people in this form. What is the purpose of that?
(雜誌社:所以巫士的任務就是寫書。我想要了解的是,這種知識就如同一般知識一樣,現已變得容易取得,並且以這種形式可供數以百萬計的人使用。這樣做的目的是什麼?)

FLORINDA D: Well, somebody has to get hooked by it. And people do. For us, for our mentality as the western ape, as Don Juan always called us, you see, we have to be hooked first intellectually, because obviously that's how our whole being works. When I was in school, I was just a step away from going into graduate school, and l had been in this world for two or three years, and I said, "What am I doing by continuing school? Why should I get a PhD.? It's absolutely redundant."
(小佛琳達:好吧,必須有人上鉤。人們真的會如此。對於我們來說,就像唐望總是稱呼我們為西方猿一樣,你瞧,我們首先必須在理智上著迷,因為顯然這就是我們所有人的運作方式。當我在學校的時候,我距離進研究所只有一步之遙,而我已經在這個(巫士)世界上兩三年了,我說:「我繼續讀下去要做什麼呢?為何要獲得博士學位?絕對是多餘的。」

And Don Juan and all the women said it's absolutely not redundant, because in order to reject something you have to understand it at its most sophisticated. You can only say it after you have at least have made some attempt to understand it. There's no reason to reject it, and when plunging into this world of the 'second attention' and 'dreaming awake', your mind has to be so well trained for you to emerge again, to come out with the knowledge. Because if you have not the brain or the mind to do it, you might as well just go throw stones in the desert; because it's meaningless. And for them it was extremely important that all of us are very well trained. Everyone working within this little group has a degree. There are historians, anthropologists, librarians. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with ABE, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
而唐望以及所有女同儕卻說這絕對不是多餘的,因為要拒絕某件事,你必須了解它最複雜之處;你至少要嘗試去理解它才能拒絕。所以沒有理由拒絕,而當跳入「第二注意力」和「醒著做夢」的這個世界時,你的心必須受過良好的訓練,以便你再次浮出並帶著知識出來。因為如果你沒有腦袋或心來做這件事,那麼你就像在沙漠扔石頭如此無義。對於(唐望)他們來說,我們所有人都受到良好的訓練格外重要。在這個小組中共事的每個人都有學位,有歷史學家、人類學家、圖書館員。)

所以我也曾熱愛知識,只不過是為了出來後丟棄它。新時代靈氣老師王靜蓉幫我的書《心靈探索周記》寫序時一直認為我是學者型的修行人,她說修行跟知識是相衝突的,得放下知識的負擔才能得見。基本上我也不是死抓知識不放,被我瞭解後丟棄的也不少。與神對話、奧修、賽斯都被我丟棄了,不是出於不瞭解,而是出於瞭解後不適合我,至少時序上是不需要了。

「清醒需要很多很多能量,曉蔚試圖從她可以掌握的心靈知識來獲取了解,她的了解為何?在本書她每每以摘錄書文穿針引線替她說話,期望,在下一本著作她能將體會傳達出來。因為我看見了一種在她大量閱讀時平行進行的東西,這東西震撼過她卻被她忽略或不得不忽略了。這是一種真實的能量,得放下知識的束縛與牽掛才能遇見。
知識是曉蔚的一個重擔(也是抱負吧),她是個學者型的靜心者,而這兩者的精神相異。內在生命的轉化來自體驗與療癒,來自以心靈力量去轉變經驗上的幻相,進入內在的本質;轉化與知識無關,甚至是挑戰你所熱愛的知識的。這些心靈訊息雖然可貴,但不經驗證不知真假,不能以知識來綑綁生命,反要以生命為主體來化解知識。
思想,是內在轉化的陷阱,當背負知識,思想就會介入假裝『已經知道』,思想不斷介入,欲放掉思想則需有很多能量,直接看真實的。知識使得『知道』真假難辨,便有所謂『看山是山,看山不是山,看山又是山」的歷程。』」(——王靜蓉)

唐望看了四年還沒丟棄,大圓滿還剛開始。我開始檢討自己的修行是如此發現的,密咒乘的修法我恐怕不是很勝任,唸了半天咒一點感應都沒有,心靈更亂能量更差。

我們今天回頭來摘 Being-in-Dreaming。我由於小佛琳達在打書訪談中說此書是為了有別於男性成員而特別寫的女巫士觀點,卡氏也說女做夢者有另外的做夢大道,所以他無法指導。另小佛琳答說她其實算是卡氏的門徒而非唐望的門徒,這意思是說一位 nagual 也要負責教導巫士同儕。

Sorcerers are bound to their world solely through their impeccability. Sorcerers have no interest to convert anyone to their views. There are no gurus or wise men among sorcerers, only naguals. They are the leaders, not because they know more or because they are in any way better sorcerers, but simply because they have more energy. I'm not necessarily referring to physical strength, but to a certain configuration of their being that permits them to help anyone break the parameters of perception. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 185)
(巫士單憑其無懈可擊或完美無缺才能連結上他們的世界。巫士沒有興趣對任何人傳教。巫士中沒有上師或智者,只有 nagual。Nagual 是領導者,不是因為他們知道更多,或者因為他們在任何方面都是上乘的巫士,而僅僅是因為他們擁有更多的能量(可以幫助同儕或弟子)。我並不一定是指身體的力量,而是指他們具有的某種(能量)配置,那可以讓他們幫助所有人打破感知的參考點。)

但什麼叫完美無缺(無懈可擊)?

ABE: Talk about impeccability. What is impeccability?
(雜誌社:談談完美無缺吧。什麼叫完美無缺?)

FLORINDA D: You know exactly what you have to do. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with ABE, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:你確實知道自己要做什麼。)

就這麼簡單。接續前面講的,一件事情除非瞭解不然沒資格說話,卡斯塔尼達這裡強調直覺是無義的,我最近在哪也看到同樣的描述。他說:「To know something only intuitively is meaningless. Flashes of insight need to be translated into some coherent thought, otherwise they are purposeless.」(p. 218)(僅憑直覺知道某件事是沒有意義的。洞知的閃光需要轉譯為一些連貫的思想,否則它們是無目的的。)

He explained that sorcerers are men of knowledge rather than men of reason. As such, they are a step ahead of Western intellectual men who assume that reality—which is often equated with truths—is knowable through reason. A sorcerer claims that all that is knowable through reason is our thought processed but that it is only by understanding our total being, at its most sophisticated and intricate level, that can we eventually erase the boundaries with which reason defines reality.
(他解釋說,巫士是有知識的人,而不是有理智的人。因此,他們領先於西方知識分子——這些人認為實相(通常與真理等同)是可以透過推理得知的。一位巫士聲稱,透過理性得知的一切都是我們對念頭的運作,然而僅僅藉由瞭解我們整個存在至最複雜的層次,我們才能最終消除理性定義實相的界限。)

Isidoro Baltazar explained to me that sorcerers cultivate the totality of their being. That is, sorcerers don't necessarily make a distinction between our rational and our intuitive sides. They use both to reach the realm of awareness they call silent knowledge, which lies beyond language, beyond thought.
(卡斯塔尼達向我解釋說,巫士培育他們整個存在。也就是說,巫士不需要在我們的理性面和直覺面進行區分。他們使用兩者來達到他們稱為「寂靜的知識」的覺知領域,這是超越語言、超越思想的。)

Sorcerers know that whenever they leap into unknown, they need to have a well-developed rational side. Only then will they be able to explain and make sense of whatever they might bring forth from their journey into the unknown. (Being-in-Dreaming, pp. 218-219)
(巫士知道,每當他們跳入未知時,就需要擁有訓練有素的理性面。只有這樣,他們才可能解釋並理解他們從未知領域的旅途中帶出來的一切。

所以知識跟判斷並非絕對的錯,端賴其是否障蔽我們,並非要放下知識的抱負才能得見真理。雖然小佛琳達這本書不像卡氏清楚描述自己如何修學唐望知識體系,包括訓練的過程及方法,但是全書不乏有些巫士前輩的精彩言談,這是在卡氏書裡比較少見的。我們摘了克萊拉說、老佛琳達說、蘇麗卡說,唐哲那羅有說我沒摘,他說要聽風的低語,因為那是在小佛琳達巫士野餐夢「初灌」(an initiation)講的,我不知道他在說什麼。噢我補述一下,唐哲那羅嫌她充滿「染污」,需要「淨化」:

"I realize that my words don't make much sense to you. That's because there is too much crust on you. It prevents you from hearing what the wind has to say."
(「我發覺我的話對妳沒有多大意義,那是因為妳身上有太多的硬皮,它使你聽不到風在說什麼。」)

"Too much crust?" I asked, puzzled and suspicious. "Do you mean that I'm dirty?"
「太多硬皮?」 我問,感到困惑和可疑,「你是說我很髒嗎?」

"That, too." He smiled and repeated that I was enveloped by too thick a crust and that this crust couldn't be washed away with soap and water. "You are filled with judgments," he explained. "They prevent you from understanding what I'm telling you and that the wind is yours to command." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 23)
(「也是啦。」 他笑著重複我的話,說我被一個厚實的外殼包裹著,無法用肥皂和水洗掉。「妳充滿了判斷。」他解釋,「這使妳無法理解我在說什麼,而那個風是聽候妳的差遣。」)

以上是唐哲那羅給予小佛琳達的講話。
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 4158
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
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《Being-in-Dreaming》:巫士寫作法(1)

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:21

2009/07/14 Tue, raining/cloudy, indoor 31.1°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:巫士寫作法

Esperanza 說要 free from wanting anything(離於需索),她跟小佛琳達說:「一旦成為巫士家族的一員,而開始抓住夢的本質,妳就能瞭解巫術究竟為何,這份瞭解讓妳自由。」(p. 227)

下面是巫士寫作。小佛琳達跟卡氏達尼達想去巫士之家,但卡氏一路往南去到了Esperanza 之家。小佛琳達帶了 term paper (期末報告)要寫,在這她又碰到 caretaker 跟老佛琳達還有奈莉達,Esperanza 丟給她一把削好的鉛筆,就寫就是了,不然連院子都不可去。但是似乎幾天下來沒有進展。Caretaker 過來也參一腳,一開始小佛琳達還懷疑他會看英文嗎,因為他們都講西班牙語,caretaker 堅持要看她的草稿:

He insisted I bring him the paper. I did. He spread out the pages all around him, some on the mat, others on the dusty ground, then retrieved from his shirt pocket a pair of metal-rimmed glasses and put them on.
(他堅持要我把報告給他。我給了。他將報告一頁頁在他周圍散開,有的放在墊子上,有的放在塵土飛揚的地上,然後從襯衫口袋裡取出一副金屬框的眼鏡戴上。)
.....
"You're only paraphrasing what you have read," the caretaker continued. "I demand you rely more on your own opinions, even if they contradict what is expected of you."
(「妳只是在摘要妳所讀的。」Caretaker繼續說,「即使它們與妳的期望相抵觸,我也要求妳更依賴自己的觀點。)
"If you want to draw strength from the sorcerers' world, you can no longer work under such premise. Ulterior motives are not acceptable in this magical world of ours. If you want to be a graduate student, then you have to behave like a warrior, not like a woman who had been trained to please. You know, even when you are bestially nasty, you strive to please. Now, whenever you write, since you were not trained to do writing, you can certainly adopt a new mood: the warriors' mood."
(「如果您想從巫士世界中汲取力量,那麼妳將無法在這樣的前提下工作。在我們這個神奇的世界中,賊頭賊腦的發心是無法被接受的。如果妳想成為一名研究生,那麼妳必須表現得像個戰士,不是像一個受過訓練的女人專門討好別人。妳知道,即使妳極度厭惡人,也在努力取悅。現在,每當你寫作時,由於你沒有受過寫作的訓練,你當然可以採用一種新的心情 :戰士的心情。」)

"What do you mean by the warriors' mood?" I asked. "Do I have to fight my professors?"
「戰士的心情是什麼意思?」 我問。 「我必須和我的教授們戰鬥嗎?」

"Not your professors," he said. "You have to fight yourself. Every inch of the way. And you have to do it so artfully and so cleverly that no one will notice your struggle." (p. 234/c)
「不是你的教授,」他說, 「妳必須全面為自己奮戰。而且妳必須如此技巧而聰明地做到這一點,以至沒有人注意到妳的努力。」

前面是前提,要持有巫士的心態為自己奮戰,接下來 caretaker 示範巫士寫作法;

"Didn't you notice how I did it? I picked the thoughts out of thin air. I simply stretched my energy fibers and hooked those thoughts, as one hooks fish with a fishing line, from the immeasurable ocean of thoughts and ideas that is out there." He made a wide gesture with his arms, as though to encompass the very air around him. (p. 234)
(「妳沒注意到我是怎麼做到的嗎?我憑空冒出來想法,我只是伸長了我的能量纖維,就把那些想法鉤住了,就像一條魚用釣魚線從那無法估量的思想海洋中鉤了起來一樣。」他張開雙臂示意著,彷彿涵蓋他身邊每一吋空氣。)

前面我沒摘的是 caretaker 做出對小佛琳達所寫報告的犀利評論,因此小佛琳達頻做筆記,還問他是不是曾經研讀過歷史、哲學及人類學。但小佛琳達畢竟是極有天份,她依樣畫葫蘆,雖然可能她並不知道自己在 dreaming-awake:

The fog was denser now. It closed around me with very breath I drew. It seeped inside me, filling me with a deep excited feeling of lightness and lucidity, Guided by some invisible source, I sat at the table and spread out the pages all around me. Right under my watchful eyes the entire structure of my paper emerged, superimposing itself on my original draft like a double exposure on a frame of film.
(現在霧更濃了。它隨著我每吸一口氣在我周圍閉上了。它滲入我的內心,使我充滿了興奮和輕盈的感覺,在一些不可見的來源的指引下,我坐在桌旁,將我周圍的所有紙張散開。在我的注視下,我的論文報告的整個結構浮現了出來,就像在膠片框架上的兩次曝光一樣,疊加在我的原始草稿上。)

I lost myself in admiration of the skilled development of the themes. As if they were being maneuvered by some invisible hand that thought and wrote, the paragraphs rearranged themselves imposing a new order. I was all so gorgeously clear and simple that I laughed out of joy.
(我對主題的嫻熟發展感到欽佩。好像它們被一隻能思考和書寫的看不見的手操縱著一樣,這些段落重新調整了自己,加上了新的順序。我是如此的清晰和簡單,以至於我因開心而笑了起來。)
"Write it dome."
(「把它寫成圓頂。」)

The words echoed softly in the room. Curious, I glanced all around me, but I saw no one. Knowing that whatever I was experiencing was definitely more than a dream, I reached for my notepad and a pencil and began to write with a furious speed. Ideas came to me with an incredible clarity and ease. They pulsated in my head and in my body like sound waves. I simultaneously heard and saw the words. Yet it wasn't my eyes or my ears that perceived what was there before me. Rather, it was some filaments within me that were reaching out and, kike some noiseless vacuum cleaner, sucking up the word shining before me like dust particles. (p. 237)
(話在房間裡迴盪。好奇地,我環顧四周,但沒看見人。知道自己所經歷的一切絕對不只是夢,我伸手拿起記事本和鉛筆,開始以狂暴的速度寫作。想法以一種難以置信的清晰和輕鬆的方式傳給我,它們像聲波一樣在我的頭和我的體內搏動。我同時聽到並看到了這些話。然而,並不是我的眼睛或耳朵察覺到我面前的一切。相反地,是我內在的一些纖維伸了出來,然後踢了一些無聲的真空吸塵器,吸了我眼前像塵土一樣閃閃發光的詞。)

還有一段明天再抄。
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 4158
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

《Being-in-Dreaming》:巫士時間觀

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:22

2009/07/15 Wed, sunny, outdoor 33-31°C, indoor 30.1°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:巫士寫作法;巫士時間觀

昨天巫士寫作還沒摘完。

After a while, the order superimposed on my paper began to blur. One by one the lines faded away. Desperately, I tried to hold on to this splendid structure, knowing that it would all vanish without a trace. Only the memory of my awareness of that magnificent lucidity remained. And then that, too, was extinguished, as if a candle had been blown out. A curl of fog, as fine as a thread, lingered in the room. Then it withdrew in little ripples, and an oppressive darkness closed in around me. I was so drained, I knew I was going to faint.
(一段時間後,疊加在我報告上的順序開始模糊,線條一一消失。我拼命試著保留這個出色的結構,但知道所有這些都將消失無蹤,只留下我覺知到這份宏偉的清明的記憶。然後,連那也熄滅了,就像一支蠟燭被吹熄了一樣。一縷細細的霧氣在房間裡徘徊, 然後收縮成一點漣漪,壓抑的黑暗籠罩著我。我如此筋疲力盡,我知道我快要暈倒了。)

"Lie down!"
(「躺下!」)

I didn't even bother to look up, knowing that I wouldn't be able to see anyone. With great effort, I rose from my chair and staggered to my bed. (pp. 237-238)
(我甚至不願抬頭,知道反正我也無法看到任何人。我努力地從椅子上站起來,橫躺在床上。)

小佛琳達這本書是第三本,前兩本都不是跟唐望巫士傳承有關,或者她本來就是作家,所以用的英文比卡氏高級一些,描述場景人物包括表情衣著的細節也很多,相較起來比較沒有直搗核心,但因為過場的人多沒有主從,因此整本書就是誰說了什麼的大總集。若根據小佛琳達接受訪問時的說法,卡氏寫唐望故事也是他的巫士任務,唐望曾經要求他同樣地用巫士的心態與強化意識狀態來寫作,並把他那堆無用的田野調查筆記整理出清,但卡氏沒有說明他是如何以強化意識寫作的,小佛琳達的經驗可供我們參考。

凌晨還是什麼時候我想到,之前去上靈氣課時,也有提到每本書都有能量,厲害的人的確可以用手碰觸一本書或一頁,就可以感受到書中或該頁的訊息,這跟台大校長李嗣涔的手指識字不同,手指識字是一種特異功能,能量感知則是轉換意識進入能量層面汲取空氣中的書本訊息,我沒有這樣的經驗,做夢倒是有類似的「隔空而知」的情況。

隨後小佛琳達寫完報告,睡醒時碰到老佛琳達,沒一會兒她發覺一天時間又過去了,然後問怎麼回事她損失了一天,還問她現在是不是處於強化意識狀態,老佛琳達跟她解釋巫士時間的使用方式:

"Sorcerers break time's flux," Florinda answered my thoughts. "Time, in the fashion we measure it, doesn't exist when one dreams the way sorcerers dream. Sorcerers stretch or compress time at will. For sorcerers, time is not a matter of minutes or hours or days but an altogether different matter.
(「巫士打破了時間的波動,」佛琳達回答了我的想法。「時間,按照我們衡量的方式,當一個人夢到巫士做夢的方式時,時間就不存在。巫士隨意地延長或壓縮時間。對於巫士來說,時間不是幾分鐘、幾小時或幾天的事情,而是完全不同的事情。)

"When dreaming-awake, our perceptual faculties are heightened. However, when it comes to perceiving time, something altogether different happens. The perception of time does not become heightened but is canceled out completely." She added that time is always a factor of consciousness; that is, to be aware of time is a psychological state that we automatically transform into physical measurements. It is so ingrained in us that we can hear, even when we are not consciously aware of it, a clock ticking inside us, subliminally keeping track of time. (p. 242)
(「當醒著做夢時,我們的感知能力得到了增強。但是,當感知時間時,會發生一些完全不同的事情。對時間的感知並沒有增強,而是被完全抵消了。」她補充說,時間永遠是意識的一個因素;也就是說,覺知到時間是一種心理狀態,我們會自動將其轉換為物理測量值。它如此根深蒂固,即使在我們不自覺的情況下,我們也能聽到時鐘在我們體內滴答轉動,而潛意識地追踪時間。)

我們一做夢就取消時間的有效性了,因此上面說的是一旦進入強化意識也取消時間的有效性,那真是很厲害。資深佛友很早也講過高級修行人這樣的作法,那就是他的根本上師一天當好幾天用,可以完成非常大量的事。但是藏密書籍我看到現在都沒有提到意識分階,只有淨觀或境界,我覺得這些都沒有把相關環境的預設值或超乎預設值講清楚。

"In dreaming-awake, that capacity is absent," she emphasized. "A thoroughly new, unfamiliar structure which somehow is not to be understood or interpreted as we normally do with time, takes over."
「在醒著做夢時,這種能力是不存在的。」她強調說,「一個全新的,無法如我們一般所理解或解釋時間的陌生結構會取而代之。」

"Then all I will ever consciously know about dreaming-awake is that time has either been stretched or compressed," I said.
(「那麼,我對醒著做夢唯一所知,就是時間不是被拉長就是被壓縮。」我說。)

"You will understand a great deal more than that. Once you become adept at entering heightened awareness, as Mariano Aureliano calls it, you'll be aware then of whatever you wish because sorcerers are not involved in measuring time. They are involved in using it, in stretching or compressing it at will." (p. 242)
(「妳會了解的遠不只這些。一旦妳熟練於進入強化意識,就像唐望所稱的那樣,妳會意識到自己想要的一切,因為巫士不涉及測度時間。他們只涉及使用時間,隨意延長或壓縮時間。」)

至於小佛琳達問她現在是強化意識嗎?老佛琳達回答說, "If I am, what did I do to reach this state? What steps did I take." (p. 242)(「如果我是,我做了什麼才達到這種狀態?我採取了什麼步驟?」)意思跟做夢者班一樣,若新成員問我這是出體嗎?就應該先想我是如何達到這樣的狀態的?以及有什麼步驟可以達到?老佛琳達的答案是:「You didn't let yourself be your usual self. That is the key that opens doors.」(「妳『沒有讓自己成為平時的自己』,那是打開大門的鑰匙。」)唐望也說達成做夢的巫士,必然已經放降低自我重要感以及停止內在對話到相當程度。

"We have told you many times and in many ways that sorcery is not at usual self is sorcery's most complex secret sounds like idiocy, but it isn't. It is the key to power, therefore the most difficult thing a sorcerer does. And yet, it isn't something complex or impossible to understand. It doesn't boggle the mind, and for that reason no one can even suspect its importance or take it seriously.
(「我們已經告訴過妳很多次,在許多方面巫術並不在『平常的自己』這一邊,這是巫術最複雜的秘密,聽起來像白痴,但事實並非如此。這是通往力量的關鍵,因此是巫士所做的最困難的事情。然而,這並不是一件複雜或不能理解的事情,它不會使心困惑,因此,沒有人甚至會懷疑它的重要性或認真對待它。)

"Judging by the result of your latest dreaming-awake, I can say that you have accumulated enough energy, through preventing yourself from being your usual self." (p. 243)
(「從妳最近一次醒著做夢的結果來看,我可以說你透過防止自己成為平常的自己而積累了足夠的能量。)
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 4158
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

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