2009/07/05 《Being-in-Dreaming》:關上身後那扇門
今天繼續摘《Being-in-Dreaming》——做夢中。下次我網站 slogan 要把 dreaming awake 換成「做夢中」,所以我說了什麼、做了什麼一概不負責,呵呵。
"With sorcerers, however, the common sense we are accustomed to is no longer in operation," he stressed.
(「但是,對於巫士來說,我們習慣的共識不再起作用,」 他強調說。)
"They have another kind of common sense, because they have other kinds of subjective states."
( 「他們有另一種共識,因為他們還有其他主體狀態。」 )
"You mean that they are like beings from another planet?" I asked.
(「你的意思是他們就像來自另一個星球的生物嗎?」 我問。)
Isidoro Baltazar laughed. "Yes. They are like beings from another planet."
(卡斯塔泥達笑了出來,說:「是啊,他們就像來自另一個星球的生物。」)
"Is that why they are so secretive?"
(「這就是為什麼他們如此秘密嗎?」)
"I don't think secretive is the right term," he remarked thoughtfully. "They deal differently with the everyday world. Their behavior appears secretive to us because we don't share the same meaning, and since we don't have any standards to measure what is common sense to them, we opt for believing that their behavior is secretive."
(「我不認為秘密是正確的用語。」 他若有所思地說:「他們對待日常生活的方式有所不同。他們的行為對我們來說是秘密的,因為我們沒有相同的含義,並且由於我們沒有任何標準可以衡量他們的共識,因此我們選擇相信他們的行為是秘密的。」)
"They do whatever we do: they sleep, they cook their meals, they read," I interjected. "Yes I could never catch them in the act. Believe me, they are secretive."
(「他們做我們所做的一切:睡覺、做飯、讀書。」 我插話說:「是的,我永遠無法理解他們的舉動。相信我,他們是秘密的。」
Smiling, he shook his head. "You saw what they wished you to see," he insisted. "And yet they weren't hiding anything from you. You couldn't see. That's all." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 166)
(他微笑著搖了搖頭:「你看到了他們希望你看到的東西,」他堅稱:「但是他們沒有對你隱藏任何東西,你無法『看見』,僅此而已。」)
這說明小佛琳達沒有能力看到唐望同夥巫士生活的層面,而並非他們要保持秘密行。說的也像藏密修行者一樣,當然後者對於不適當的人是應該要對自己所作所為所修保密,倒不是行為本身有何秘密,而是解釋起來有點複雜,不是一般人能夠懂也能夠接受,譬如說修施身法(斷法 chod),要半夜去墳場觀想把自己剁了來煮甘露湯,上供下施,主要用以去除對於肉身的貪執,當然還有克服最深的恐懼:就是死亡。那怎麼跟父母解釋說我半夜要去墳場修法?算了吧,不如不說。
下面一段正好呼應今天 Sherman 所摘葛吉夫的一段:「第四道與其他道之不同在於它對人要求的原則是瞭解。人必須不做任何他不瞭解的事,除非有老師指導與監督下的實驗。一個人對其所爲瞭解越多,他努力的結果便越大,這是第四道的一個基本原則,工作的結果與工作的意識狀態成正比。」卡斯塔尼達也說:
Isidoro Baltazar went on to say that the world of sorcerers is a sophisticated world, that it wasn't enough to understand its principles intuitively. One also needed to assimilate them intellectually. "Contrary to what people believe," he explained, "Sorcerers are not practitioners of obscure esoteric rituals but stand ahead of our times. And the mode of our time is reason. We are reasonable men as a whole. Sorcerers , however, are men of reason, which is a different matter altogether. Sorcerers have a romance with ideas; they have cultivated reason to its limits, for they believe that only by fully understanding the intellect can they embody the principles of sorcery differ drastically from us. We have very little sobriety and even less integrity." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 170)
(卡斯塔尼達繼續說,巫士世界是一個複雜的世界,僅憑直覺無法瞭解其原理,還需要從智力上去理解。他解釋說:「與人們的看法相反,巫士不是隱晦神秘儀式的修行者,而是我們時代的先驅。我們時代的方式是理性的,普遍來說我們都是講道理的。然而巫士的理智則完全是另一回事。巫士對理想充滿浪漫;他們已經將理性培養到了極限,因為他們相信只有充分理解智識,他們才能體現與我們截然不同的巫術的原理。我們則有很少的清明,甚至更少的正直。」)
南開諾布仁波切開示中提到:「大圓滿的灌頂,就跟般若波羅蜜多沒人能解釋,就算你想解釋也找不到適當的語言文字來描述,金剛乘也是一樣,金剛的真實本性(real nature of vajra)也是一樣,只能練習無法解釋。」但為何我們經常聽上師們開示教法呢?「因為上師有那樣的經驗,只能講講如何發現本性,這些經驗跟我們的人生經驗有關,……我們來介紹,不需要太多儀式。」(2009/06/14 網路直播開示,聽講筆記)小佛琳達還沒打算要加入巫士團體,或者不覺得加入有何好處,卡斯塔尼達對小佛琳達說:
"Yes, it has something very special to offer. It's called freedom. However, there's no guarantee that you'll succeed in attaining it. That any of us, for that matter, will succeed."
(「是的,它提供了非常特別的東西,叫做自由。但是,不能保證你會成功得到它,也就是不保證我們每個人都會成功。」)
I nodded thoughtfully, then asked him what I had to do to convince him that I had indeed joined the sorcerers' world.
(我若有所思地點點頭,然後問他我該怎麼做才能說服他我已確實加入了巫士的世界。)
"You don't have to convince me. You have to convince the spirit. You have to close the door behind you."
(「妳不必說服我,妳必須說服『力量』,妳必須關上身後那扇門。」)
"What door?"
(「什麼門?」)
"The one you still keep open. The door that will permit you to escape if things are not to your liking or don't fit your expectations. I will not convince you or anyone else. There will be no power in your decision if you need to be propped up every time you falter or doubt. " (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 177)
(「就是妳還開著的那扇門,如果事情不是妳所喜歡的或不符合妳的期望,妳會從那扇門逃脫。我不會說服妳或任何其他人。如果妳做出決定,你就沒權力在每次妳舉步維艱或懷疑時還需要支持。」)
我覺得卡氏這番話對想要在修行上拜師或入道的人有同樣參考的價值。不僅僅是因為什麼三昧耶戒不可以棄師背道,而是端賴我們修行的承諾有多強。這不是像談戀愛,女朋友不好再換一個,所以審慎觀察瞭解是必須的。