作夢者班/做夢者班 II

本論壇自 2009 起分享南開諾布仁波切之教法,目前歸屬於象雄文化。Email: dreamworkforum@gmail.com

小佛琳達《Being-in-Dreaming》摘讀系列

Being-in-Dreaming、The Wheel of Time、The Art of Dreaming 等書札記、摘譯與翻譯;個人夢修心得整理。

《Being-in-Dreaming》:知識從個人明性自然顯現

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:22

2009/07/21 Tue, sunny, outdoor 37-34°C, indoor 31.6°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:知識從個人明性自然顯現

我終於知道 caretaker 是唐望巫士同夥中的「學者」文生(Vicnete Medrano),怪不得他的知識浩瀚,即便小佛琳達受教後也 dreaming-awake 連續工作了三天,但她的境界實在不能跟文生相比。在《巫士的穿越》中,塔夏莎所遇到的 caretaker 則是艾密力圖。

就小佛琳達寫研究所報告運用巫士寫作這件事,首先 Espreanza(即蘇麗卡)談到對於知識的態度,有點像藏密的聞思修,她說:「Not even with the aid of sorcery. You should know that without the preliminary reading, the note taking, and the writing and rewriting, you should never been able to recognize the structure and order of your term paper in dreaming.」(p. 244)(甚至沒有巫術的幫助,妳也應該知道:沒有初步的閱讀、記筆記、寫作和改寫,妳就永遠不可能在夢中認識到期末報告的結構和順序。)意思說不能自己全無所知就能仰賴巫術寫出一篇超級論文,而奈莉達更強調:

"To reach a degree of knowledge, sorcerers work twice as hard as normal people. Sorcerers have to make sense of the everyday world as well as the magical world. To accomplish that, they have to highly skilled and sophisticated, mentally as well as physically." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 245)
(「為了達到一定的知識水準,巫士的工作量是普通人的兩倍。巫士必須理解日常世界以及奇幻世界。要做到這點,他們必須在心靈和身體上都具備高超的技能和嫻熟的技巧。」)

小佛琳達在 dreaming-awake 狀態努力巫士寫作了三天,她自認為是 simple and effortless(單純而不費力的),她只是看到報告的一個新版本,然後把它照抄下來。而奈莉達解釋說,即是是這樣已經花費所有的力氣,因為「While dreaming-awake, you channeled all your energy into a single purpose. All your concern and effort went into finishing your paper. Nothing else mattered to you at the moment. You had no other thoughts to interfere with your endeavor.」(p. 245)(在醒著做夢時,妳將所有能量都用於一個目的。妳所有的關注和努力都用以完成妳的報告,此刻沒有其他事情對妳重要,你沒有其他念頭來干擾你的工作。)這完全說的是專注,而我想 dreaming-awake 狀態就是唐望所形容的強化意識狀態,如卡氏曾經問過的,外人看起來他就像喝醉一樣,是故這不是 dreaming,也沒有睡,所以可以從事任何日常的事務,但是使用一種半夢半醒的如同醉拳的武功,而半夢半醒狀態我們知道可以連接到隱含秩序層。

小佛琳達問文生給他的報告 comments(評論)時,是否也如她所見這般,Espreanza 解釋說文生在小佛琳達報告中看到的跟小佛琳達看到然後寫下來的不一樣:

"Quite naturally so, for his knowledge is by far moor vast than yours. Guided by his suggestions, and according to your own capacities, you saw what your paper ought to read like. That's what you wrote down."
(「很自然地,因為他的知識遠遠超過了妳的知識。在他的建議的指導下,也根據妳自己的能力,妳看到了報告讀起來應該是什麼樣子。這就是妳所寫下的內容。」)

"While dreaming-awake, we have access to hidden resources, which we never use ordinarily," Nelida said, going on to explain that, the instant I saw my paper, I remembered the clues the caretaker had given me. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 246)
(「醒著做夢時,我們可以連通到潛隱的資源,這是我們平常從來沒使用過的,」奈莉達說,正要繼續解釋,那一刻我看到我的報告,我想起了 caretaker 給我的線索。)

我們是否可以說這也是出自明性?不僅 dreaming-awake(醒著做夢)/heightened awareness(強化意識)可以連接至「hidden resources」(潛隱資源),Espreanza 更說:「When dreaming-awake, we have access to direct knowledge.」(當醒著做夢時,我們可以獲得直接的知識。)奈莉達再補充:「Dreaming-awake should have made you realized that you have, as all women do, a unique capacity to receive knowledge directly.」(p. 246)(醒著做夢應該已讓妳瞭解到,像所有女性一樣,妳擁有直接接受知識的獨特能力。)看來唐望巫士知識跟大圓滿英雄所見略同。

但這裡為什麼要強調女人呢?難道跟男人不同嗎?接下來又是圓錐圖解,小佛琳達打書時接受採訪時說,男人的能量結構是 CONE(圓錐),女人剛好倒過來。男生是正圓錐,尖頂在上,代表「Men build knowledge step by step」(男人一步步建立知識)、「men cone toward the spirit; they cone up toward knowledge」(男人由下而上導向力量;他們趨向知識尖端);而女人剛好顛倒,「Women are able to open themselves directly to the source, or the source reaches them directly」(女人能夠直接將自己向來源開放,或來源直接觸及她們);「women's connection to knowledge is expansive」(女人與知識的連結是廣大的)。看不懂,對不對?結論:

Men are close to the concrete, and aim at the abstract.
(男人接近具體事物,目標在抽象事物。)
Women are close to the abstract and yet try to indulge themselves with the concrete.
(女人很接近抽象,卻試圖沉迷於具體事物。)

我可以了解的是,女性確實比男性擁有敏感體質,就是容易感受到抽象的事務,某種神秘的玄奧的力量或磁場,但又易於放縱自己於物質世界;男性比較務實於現實世界,但目標是否放在抽象,學習去理解玄奧的事務或受到吸引。女人比較像是天生如此,男人是受到吸引。這是一個概略的印象。

FLORINDA D: Originally, beyond the the sexual aspect, the female, the womb ensures that the woman is the one that's closest to the spirit in this process of approaching knowledge as being-in-dreaming. The man cones upward, and by the sheer definition of the cone, it comes to a finite end. It's an energetic force. He strives because he is not close to the spirit, or whatever we want to call that great energetic force out there. According to the sorcerers, the woman is exactly the opposite. The cone is upside down. They have a direct link with it, because the womb for the sorcerer is not just an organ of reproduction; it is an organ for dreams, a second brain. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with Alexander Blair-Ewart, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:最初,除了性方面之外,女性是子宮,它確保在求取知識的過程中諸如醒著做夢,女性是最接近力量的。 男人的圓錐向上,並且根據圓錐的純粹定義,圓錐達到有限的末端。這是一個充滿能量的力量。男人之所以努力,是因為他與力量或者我們稱之為充滿能量的力量不是很接近。據巫士說,女人則正好相反,女性的圓錐倒置,她們與力量有直接的連結,因為巫士的子宮不是只是生殖器官,它是做夢的器官,是第二大腦。)
SW
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文章: 3979
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
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Women need guts and mind;如何使用子宮的力量?

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:22

2009/07/24 Fri, sunny, outdoor 29-36°C, 《Being-in-Dreaming》:Women need guts and mind.

看幾頁 Being-in-Dreaming:

"What is the feminine side of reason, Esperanza?"
(「理性的女性面是什麼,蘇麗卡?」)

"Many things. One of them is definitely dreaming." She regarded me questioningly, but I had nothing to say.
「很多事情。其中之一絕對是做夢。」 她懷疑地看著我,但我無話可說。

Her deep chuckle caught me by surprise. "I know what you expect from sorcerers. You want rituals incantations. Odd, mysterious cults. You want to sing. You want to be one with nature. You want to commune with water spirits. You want paganism. Some romantic view of what sorcerers do. Very Germanic.
她深深的笑聲使我驚訝。 「我知道你對巫師的期望。妳想要儀式咒語,奇怪、神秘的邪教,妳想唱歌,妳想與大自然合而為一,你想與水靈相通,你想要異教徒的信仰和實踐,關於巫師行為的一些浪漫觀點,非常日耳曼(按:小佛琳達祖籍是德國人)。

"To jump into the unknown," she went on, "you need guts and mind. Only with them will you be able to explain to yourself and to others the treasures you might find." She leaned toward me, "You need to act on your magical side." (p. 250)
(「要跳入未知世界,」她接著說:「妳需要膽量和頭腦。唯獨有了膽量和心智,妳才能向自己和他人解釋妳可能會發現的寶藏。」 她傾身過來:「你需要以妳神奇的一面行動。」)

我需要 guts,不是,是女人需要 guts。那什麼東西呀?勇氣、膽量、毅力,有魄力的意思。


2009/07/25 Sat, raining, indoor 31.9°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:如何使用子宮的力量?

"What does it mean to use the womb?" I interjected. "And how is it done?"
(「使用子宮是什麼意思?」我插話問:「這是怎麼做的?」)

"You are a woman," Esperanza said softly.. "You know how to feel with your womb."
(「妳是一個女人,」蘇麗卡輕聲說道:「妳知道子宮裡的感覺。」)

"In order to focus your attention with your womb, get an object and put it on your belly or rub it on you genitalia." She laughed uproariously at my look of dismay, then, in between fits of laughter, chided me, "I wasn't that bad. I could have said that you need to smear the object with your juices, but I didn't." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 279)
(「為了使妳的注意力集中在子宮上,拿一個物體放在腹部上或在生殖器上磨擦。」她取笑我沮喪的神情,然後在笑聲中,我嘲笑道:「我還沒那麼糟。我可以說妳需要用妳的分泌物塗抹那物體,但我沒有。」)

啊所以要我們自淫啦,才能利用到子宮的能量。這個 object 指什麼?

"Once you establish a deep familiarity with the object, it'll always be there to serve you as a bridge."
(「一旦妳用這物體有了深刻的熟悉,它就會永遠在那,可以為妳充當橋樑。」)
上面是女生看的,男生沒有子宮,男生靠的是腦,"In men, feeling originate in the brain." (「而對男人,感覺起源於大腦。」 )Esperanza(蘇麗卡) 說:"Think about it. A woman is heartless except with her brood because her feelings are coming from her womb." (p. 279)(「想想,一個女人無情,除非懷有孩子,因為她的感情來自子宮。」)

Being-in-Dreaming 不知道寫這本書的用意是什麼?小佛琳達一點都沒有寫到自己如何修學,我重看到倒數第二章,唐望及同夥已經準備離世了,而這時小佛琳達才入門三年,所以你覺得三年能學會什麼?或者說「初灌」(first initiation)以後,行者要靠自己的力量去鞏固當初的瞥見成為真正的目擊,那意味成為一名「看見者」。不過在這本書裡什麼都沒有說到。不過看到最後終於了解為什麼做夢者小佛琳達會繼承頭號潛獵者老佛琳達的名號,這是全書蘇麗卡初次現身說法:

"You're a stalker, and you belong, by all rights to Florinda. You also a somnambulist and a great natural dreamer, and by virtue of your ability, you also belong to me."
(「妳屬於佛琳達的所有權,妳是潛獵者。妳也是一位夢遊者和偉大的自然做夢者,憑藉妳的能力,妳也屬於我。」)

蘇麗卡解釋說,「I am Zuleica. Esperanza is my other self. Sorcerers call it the dreaming body.」(p. 262)(我是蘇麗卡。 Esperanza 是我的分身,巫士稱它為做夢身。)所以我出體也要換個名字不叫石某某,我要叫什麼呢?重點是這兩個人看起來不一樣才行。我還沒看到我記得有一個男的,他或者是蘇麗卡可以以男生做夢體出現。所以難怪師父說男變女、女變男,都有可能辦到。
能辦到。

......................................

我們往前回到昨天下午摘到女生要有 guts and mind,如此才能「act on our magical side」,那是什麼呢?又是子宮!我真為婦女長個瘤隨隨便便就被婦科醫生摘除子宮感到難過,我曾看過報導,說手術中有百分之七十的子宮都是沒必要摘除的。

"The womb is the ultimate feminine organ. It is the womb that gives women that extra edge, that extra force to channel their energy."
(「子宮是終極的女性器官。子宮賦予了女性更多的優勢,那是更多的力量來傳遞她們的能量。」)

She explained that men, in their quest for supremacy, have succeeded in reducing woman's mysterious power, her womb, to a strictly biological organ, whose only function is to reproduce, to carry man's seed. (p. 251)
(她解釋說,男人在追求至高無上的過程中,已成功地將女人子宮的神秘力量降低至純粹是生物器官,其唯一的功能是繁殖並攜帶男人的種子。)

因為前篇提到女性是如此接近抽象,男人是用圓錐的頂點接觸抽象,女人則是用圓錐的底部,但發軔於子宮,因此古代女祭司跟女神巫總是擁有強大的力量。男性為了鞏固領導地位,無所不用其極將女性扁為次等公民,直至今日很多聖堂廟宇禁止女性進入,女性被排除擔重職,特別是宗教跟神秘有關的事務。下面這段我也有點看不懂,沒講很清楚:

Nelida rose, "Do you know the story of the Annunciation?" she whispered in my ear.
(奈莉達站起來,「妳知道天使報喜節(3月25日)的故事嗎?」 她在我耳邊低語。)

She proceeded to tell me that in the Judeo-Christian tradition, men are the only ones who hear the voice of God. Women have been excluded from that privilege, with the exception of the Virgin Mary.
(她繼續跟我說,在猶太和基督教徒的傳統中,只有男人才能聽到上帝的聲音。除聖母瑪利亞外,婦女都被排除在此一特權之外。)

Nelida said that an angel whispering to Mary was, of course, natural. What wasn't natural was the fact that all the angel had to say to Mary was that she would bear the son of God. The womb did not receive knowledge but rather the promise of God's seed. A male god, who engendered another male god in turn.
(奈莉達說,有一個天使對瑪麗亞耳語,當然那很自然。不自然的是,天使只對瑪麗亞說,她將孕育上帝的兒子。子宮沒有得到知識,而是得到了上帝種子的應許。一個男性神,又產生了另一個男性神。)

那意思是子宮可以接收知識嗎?可是(此劫第一位大圓滿人間祖師)極喜金剛(蔣秋多傑)他媽,那位尼姑公主也是處女受胎,也生男的活佛,還有世親跟無著兩位大菩薩也是一位尼姑想作番大事業:就是跟男人生出兩個大菩薩,女人的子宮都是拿來出產男人名產的。

"What about the male socerers?" I asked. "They don't have a womb, yet they are clearly connected to the spirit."
(「那男性巫士呢?」 我問,「他們沒有子宮,但顯然與『力量』有所連結。」)

Esperanza whispered," Sorcerers are able to align themselves to intent, to the spirit, because they have given up what specifically defines their masculinity. And they are no longer males." (p. 251)
(蘇麗卡小聲說:「巫士能夠將自己連結至『意願』或『力量』,因為他們已經放棄了專門定義男性氣質的東西,所以他們不再是男性。”」)

這是說男巫士都成了「公公」了嗎?我想當然不是,而是男變女、女變男都可以啊,死亡拒絕者不是變成一個女的了嗎?小佛琳達採訪有講到女性開刀摘除子宮這件事:

FLORINDA D: For the women it is very important, this idea that the womb is not just an organ of reproduction. In order to activate this, our intent has to be different. In order to change our intent we go back again to energy. You see, we don' t really know what it means to use the womb as an organ for being, an organ of light, of intuition. For us, intuition really is something that has already been defined. There is no real intuition anymore, because we intuit with our brains. Don Juan was interested in women, and people always ask, "Well, how come there are always so many women? Do you have orgies? Is there all kinds of stuff going on?" He said, "No, it's because the male doesn't have the womb. He needs that magical 'womb power' (laughter). " It's very important, you see.
(小佛琳達:對於女性來說,認為子宮不僅僅是生殖器官,這種觀念非常重要。為了啟動它,我們的意願必須有所不同。為了改變我們的意願,我們再次回到能量上。你知道,我們真的不知道將子宮用作為存在的器官、光的器官和直覺的器官是什麼意思。對我們來說,直覺確實是已經被定義的東西,所以不再有真正的直覺了,因為我們用腦去直覺。唐望對女性感興趣,人們總是問:「嗯,為什麼總是有那麼多女人?你們很放蕩嗎?是不是在做各種各樣的事情?」他說:「不,這是因為男性沒有子宮。他需要那種神奇的『子宮力量』(笑聲)。」所以你看,這很重要。)

ABE: Let me ask some technical questions there, if I may, on behalf of my female readers. Does the womb have to be fully functioning? I mean, if a woman had her tubes tied, would her womb still work?
(雜誌社:請允許我代表女性讀者在這裡提出一些技術性的問題。子宮必須完全作用嗎?我的意思是,如果一個女人的輸卵管結紮了,她的子宮還依然還行嗎?)

FLORINDA D: Yes, as long as she doesn't have a hysterectomy.
(小佛琳達:是的,只要她沒有進行子宮切除手術即可。)

ABE: So long as the womb isn't removed...
(雜誌社:只要沒有移除子宮……)

FLORINDA D: ...if the womb is there, yes. (Being-in-Dreaming: Florinda Donner in Conversation with Alexander Blair-Ewart, Dimension, Feb. 1992)
(小佛琳達:……如果子宮還在的話,是的。)
SW
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文章: 3979
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
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《Being-in-Dreaming》:aligning oneself with intent 連上意願

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:23

2009/07/26 Sun, cloudy, indoor 30.9°C 《Being-in-Dreaming》:aligning oneself with intent

Being-in-Dreaming,老是講子宮也不是辦法,但這本名是為女性巫士觀點的書,可能男人不適合看。最後再摘一句,Esperanza 說:「Women, because they have a womb, can focus their attention with great facility on something outside their dreams while dreaming. That's precisely what you have been doing all along, unbeknownst to yourself. The object become a bridge that connects you to intent.」(p. 278)(因為有子宮,女人可以在做夢時以極為靈巧地將注意力集中在夢境之外的事情上。這正是妳一直以來一直在做的事情,妳自己不知道。 這東西成為將妳連接到「意願」的橋樑。)

說到唐望同夥一行巫士十六人即將要大遷轉虹光身離世,靠的恐怕不是完全證悟,而是 nagual 超強的能量。資深佛友曾說大成就者對著草地上的羊群吹一口氣也通通虹光身。就我所知,老佛琳達跟奈莉達沒跟著走,文生也說他哪都不去,所以卡氏說有十六個,不知道是不是把二線巫士算進去(有些人沒算在十六人內的當門柱用的巫士)?像後來卡氏也說他們成員有六位,不是我們所知的三位女門徒。

關於前面所提的 object(應該是指子宮),沒有很清楚的說明。不過前面提到小佛琳達在做夢狀態看到如夢的老佛琳達,她抬手想跟她招呼,但被一隻藍色的蝴蝶羅織出空中藍色的影子所分心,藍蝴蝶飛向她停在她手上,一步步分解幻化成一只套在她中指上的戒指。

"It's an optical illusion?"
(「這是個幻覺?」)
"It's a lovely ring. It's a magnificent gift. Didn't you notice the ring before?" the caretaker asked.
(「這是一個可愛的戒指,一個宏偉的禮物。妳沒注意到戒指嗎?」文生問。)
"You've been wearing that ring since Florinda gave it to you."
(「自老佛琳達送給妳以來,妳就一直戴著它。」)
……
"The ring in itself has no power, regardless of who made it," Florinda assured me. "The power was in making. The nugual who made this ring was aligned so thoroughly with what sorcerers call intent that he was able to produce this lovely jewel without him being a jeweler. The ring was an act of pure intent. You will use the ring to align 使結盟 yourself with intent." (pp. 256-257)
( 老佛琳達向我保證:「戒指本身沒有力量,無論是誰製造的。力量在於製造本身。製造這枚戒指的 Nagual 與巫士所說的『意願』非常連結,以至於他能夠不用珠寶商就能製造出這只可愛的珠寶。這只戒指純粹是出於『意願』。妳可以使用這戒指以使自己連上『意願』。」)

關於這個 aligning oneself with intent,連上意願,老佛琳達解釋說:「You might not know what the word means, but something in you intuits how to tap the force. She whispered that I had always used intent to move from dream to reality or to bring my dream—whatever it might have been—to reality.」(妳可能不知道該詞的含義,但妳體內的某些東西會直覺如何發揮力量。 她低聲說,我一直使用意願從夢移至現實,或者將我的夢——無論可能是什麼——帶入現實。)後者就是小佛琳達的 nightmares,她把噩夢帶進現實。說真的如果小佛琳達從開頭到結尾都沒有學什麼,一切都是因為她的天賦異秉,我不知道這本書給讀者什麼啟發或者啟示?沒有任何一點關於她努力自學的部分,讀過兩遍還是對我一點幫助都沒有。這個戒指其實是在夢中打造的發明物:

"The inventions frighten you, and the ring delights you. Since both are dreams, it can easily be the reverse . . .This , dear, is a world of dreams. We are teaching you how to bring them about all by yourself, at the moment, all the sorcerer of the nagual Mariano Aureliano's party help you enter into this world and are helping you to stay in it now.
(「這發明物使妳感到恐懼,而戒指使妳感到開心。既然兩者都是夢,那麼情況也很容易反過來……親愛的,這是夢的世界。我們正在教妳如何獨自帶入這些, 此刻,唐望團體的所有巫士都幫助妳進入了這個世界,並正在幫助妳留在此世界中。)
You are the same but in a different world. Energy that comes from your savings and from the loan all of us made you." (p. 258)
(你是一樣的,但在一個不同的世。妳所儲存和我們全部借給妳的能量造就了妳。」)
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 3979
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

《Being-in-Dreaming》:bird of freedom 自由之鳥

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:23

2009/08/19 Wed, cloudy , outdoor 36-32°C° 《Being-in-Dreaming》:bird of freedom

休息時間我看了一點 Being-in-Dreaming 最後一章,小佛琳達枯等三個月沒見到卡司塔尼達蹤影,開車直殺巫士之家,枯候七天半個人影都沒看到,那批巫士全部離開了。她心中有無比的憂傷,最大的憂傷莫過於失去她的 nagual 卡斯塔尼達,因為她想起唐望曾跟他說自由之鳥的比喻:

The nugaul Mariano Aureliano had once told me that sorcerers, when they talk among themselves, speak of sorcery as a bird; they call it the bird of freedom. They say that the bird of freedom only flies in a straight line and never comes around twice. They also say that it is the nuagual who lures the bird of freedom. It is he who entices the bird to shed its shadow on the worrior's path. Without that shadow, there is no direction. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 289)
(Nagual 卡斯塔尼達有次告訴我,巫士們彼此交談時會說巫術就像一隻鳥,他們稱它為自由之鳥。他們說自由之鳥只飛直線,並且永遠不會來兩次。他們還說,Nagual 是誘騙自由鳥的人,是他誘使這隻鳥在戰士之道上投下影子。 沒有那個影子,就沒有方向。)

所以小佛琳達覺得她已經失去自由之鳥了,她說:「I had lost the nagual and, without him, all hope and purpose. And what weighted the most my heart was that the bird of freedom flew away so fast it didn't give me time to thank them properly, didn't give me time to express my endless admiration.」(pp. 289-290)(我失去了 Nagual,沒有他就失去了所有的希望和目標。我心最重要的自由之鳥飛得如此之快,以至於我沒有時間適時去感謝他們,也沒有給我時間表達我無盡的欽慕。)這是我整本書看到最感人的地方:沒有 nagual 就沒有自由的希望,這跟對上師的關係一樣。

唐望團體大遷轉虹光身離開人世,在唐望故事裡都沒有仔細的說明,當然這裡也沒有,但我們還是看一下,當時三年資歷的小佛琳達怎麼說的:

How can it be possible that they vanished like that? A meaningless, superfluous question, considering what I had experienced and witnessed in their world. All it revealed was my true nature: meek and doubting. For the sorcerers had told me for years that their ultimate purpose was to burn, to disappear, swallowed by the force of awareness. The old nagual and his party of sorcerers were ready, but I didn't know it. They had been preparing themselves nearly all their lives for the ultimate audacity: to dream-awake that they sneak past death—as we ordinarily know death to be—and cross over into the unknown, enhancing, without breaking, the unity of their total energy. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 290)
(他們怎麼可能那樣就消失了? 考慮到我在他們的世界中所經歷和見證的事情,這是一個毫無意義的多餘的問題。這揭露出的就只是我的真正本性:懦弱而懷疑。巫士們多年來一直告訴我說,他們的終極目標就是去燃燒、消失,被意識之力吞噬。老 Nagual 和他的巫士團體已經準備好了,但我還不知道(這個知識)。他們幾乎一生都在為這終極一役作準備:藉醒著做夢他們越過死亡——我們通常都知道死亡為何——然後跨入未知世界,增強而不破壞其總能量的整體性。)

真是蠻好的憧憬。這裡提到卡斯塔尼達也「走了」,事實上他是隨唐望巫士到山頂,當然他不是去「自焚」,而是去跳崖,要在到達谷底時重新聚合出一個世界,結果他回到洛杉磯他家,但我不知道他這一跳,跳了三個月還沒到家,因為小佛琳達也在洛杉磯,沒理由乾等三個月。所以是否時間上出現差異,卡斯塔尼達《戰士旅行者》只說花了幾天功夫吧。小佛琳達還懊悔一些事情:

My regret was most intense upon recalling how my usual doubting self would emerge when I least expected it. I was not that I didn't believe their stupendous, otherworldly, yet so practical aim and purpose. Rather, I would explain them away, integrate them, make them fit into the everyday world of common sense—not quite, perhaps, but certainly coexisting with what was normal and familiar to me. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 290)
(回想我通常分身會如何出現當我最不希望它出現時,我的懊悔最為強烈。我並不是說我不相信分身的驚人、超凡卻實際導向和目的。相反地,我會透過解釋消除它們,融攝它們,使它們符合常理的日常世界,也許不是全部,但肯定與我的正常和熟悉共存。)

所以小佛琳達也要將教法融合於日常生活嗎?後來老佛琳達終於出現,她說她跟蘇麗卡都沒跟隨唐望團體一起走,因為在情感上她們比較貼近老師胡里安,而胡里安團體都是成員個別走的,不像唐望那麼符合傳統規定,巫士的實際總是視情況而定。老佛琳達安慰小佛琳達說:

"Tears are meaningless for sorcerers. When you joined the sorcerers' world you were mad to understand that the designs of fate, no matter what they are, are merely challenges that a sorcerer must face without resentment or self-pity.
(「眼淚對巫士是毫無意義的。當你加入了巫士的世界,你就是狂熱於明白命運的設計,不管它們是什麼,不過是挑戰,一個巫士必須沒有怨恨或自憐地去面對。)
Why don't you heed my suggestion and behave impeccably regardless of your feelings.
(妳為什麼不理會我的建議:不管妳的感受如何,行為舉止都完美無缺。)
You don't need the nagual to be an impeccable sorceress. Your impeccability should lead you to him even if he's no longer in the world. To live impeccably within your circumstance is your challenge. Whether you see Isidoro Baltazar tomorror or in a year or at the end of your life should make no difference to you." (p. 292)
(妳不需要一個 Nagual 才能成為一個完美無缺的巫士。妳的完美無缺應該將妳引向他,即使他已不在世上。要在妳自己的情況中完美無缺地活著是妳的挑戰。無論妳是否見到卡斯塔尼達,是一年或直到生命的盡頭,對妳都應該沒有影響。)

這也是修行道上的行者應該有的態度。今天剛好只看到這裡。這個 circumstance 南開師也常講到。

.......................

說的也是,最後一句話,對於失去南開師的我們,也應該如此。(2020/02/16)
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 3979
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

《Being-in-Dreaming》:女巫士的最終解釋

文章SW » 2012-03-13, 11:24

2009/08/20 Thur, sunny , outdoor 34-31°C° 《Being-in-Dreaming》:女巫士的最終解釋

Being-in-Dreaming,記錄上是從 p. 258 跳到 p. 289,事實上中間沒什麼可摘的,不然就是幾小處有摘過了,所以就算不情願我們今天也得大結局了。小佛琳達在空無一人的巫士之家,醒醒睡睡,陸續老佛琳達跟蘇麗卡——唐望巫士團體唯一剩下的兩名成員——來跟她說話,分不清是醒還是夢,不過按慣例蘇麗卡是醒時身份,那麼昨天摘的老佛琳達則是夢中。老佛琳達繼續說:

"The world of sorcerers is a world of solitariness, yet in it, love forever. Like my love for the nugaul Julian. We move in the world of sorcerers all by ourselves, accounting only for our acts, our feelings, our impeccability. I've no longer any feelings. Whatever I had went away with the nagual Julian. All I have left is my sense of will, of duty, of purpose." (Being-in-Dreaming, pp. 293-294) 

當小佛琳達被悲傷所淹沒,她反問小佛琳達:「Where is your impeccable purpose? What happened to all the things you've learned with us?」這幾乎是全書的結論了。她提醒小佛琳達「Don't find solace 安慰 in sympathy of others or in self-pity」。

巫士不需要安慰也不容許自憐,嗯沒說不能批評他人。後來蘇麗卡出現,補充了女巫士的「最後解釋」(唐望離世前也給予卡斯塔尼達有關於巫術的最後解釋):

"To be in the sorcerers' world one has to dream superbly. Most people don't have the wits nor the size of spirit to dream. They cannot help but see the world as ordinary and repetitious. And do you know why? Because if you don't fight to avoid it, the world is indeed ordinary and repetitious. Most people are so involved with themselves that they have become idiotic. Idiots have no desire to fight to avoid ordinariness and repetitiousness." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 297)

這也是 ordinary 的真正意思,平常意識、一陳不變的生活,許多人的一生所做的就是不斷的重複自己。習氣也是如此,重複的夢不僅是業力也是習氣。夢修有什麼好處,可能目前我們都無法具體說個什麼出來,但是由夢可見習氣慢慢減少,稀奇新鮮逐漸取代,不是為了作夢好玩,而是為了一種持續的注意力。對於重複的老調我們沒有什麼注意力可言,我們永遠只會對新鮮新奇的事物抱持好奇心,這就是注意力。要說夢境是不是一種淨觀(pure vision),端賴熟悉的事物比例多寡而定。蘇麗卡強調她所帶給小佛琳達的夢不僅僅是個夢,「It was a sorcerers' dream, a vision.」(p. 299)

蘇麗卡指的是前面老佛琳達現身那段,就是小佛琳達的淨觀夢,因為那個夢告訴她該做什麼。接下來蘇麗卡解釋巫士團體的 nagual 之所以需要作夢者成員是因為需要的是做夢能量(dreaming energy),而不是世俗感情跟世俗活動,「You cannot be attached to the nagual as a person, but only as a mythical being.」(pp. 299-300)。蘇麗卡跟小佛琳達解釋:

"Only if the nagual is supported and upheld by his fellow dreamers can he lead them into other viable worlds from which he can entice the bird of freedom.
You have witness how the old nagual, as well as Isidoro Baltazar, by their mere presence, affect whoever is around them, be it their fellow sorcerers or just bystanders, making them aware that the world is a mystery where nothing can be taken for granted under any circumstances." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 300)

這個 presence 有點意思,新時代翻譯成「臨在」,大圓滿同修會翻譯成「覺知」,我今天看達賴喇嘛《大圓滿》後面的備註,翻譯成「現前」,書裡是 spontaneous presence,「自然現前」。我個人覺得上段應該是「在場」的意思,小佛琳達作了以下還算本書中較有腦袋的省思:

For a long time I had been at a loss to understand how naguals could, by their mere presence, make such difference. After careful observation, comparing opinions with others, and endless introspection, I concluded that their influence stemmed from their renunciation 出離 of worldly concerns. In our daily world, we also have examples of men and women who have left worldly concerns behind. We call them mystics, saints, religious people. But nuguals are neither mystics nor saints and are certainly not religious men. Naguals are worldly men without a shred of worldly concerns. (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 300)

「Worldly men without a shred of worldly concerns」描述起來就好像大圓滿行者,總是過著不為人知的生活,特別是大師們貌如常人毫無起眼。蘇麗卡解釋說那是因為 naguals 已經打破自我反映之鏡(mirror of self-reflection),「Naguals are able to see themselves in the mirror of fog, which reflects only the unknown. It is a mirror that no longer reflects our normal humanity, express in repetition, but reveals the face of infinity.」(p, 301)聽起來就像南開師的鏡子比喻,當二元見不復存在,就能看見無限反射的潛能,成為鏡子的本質。

所以蘇麗卡建議小佛琳達要 dream dead 而不要 dream alive,作面不反射的鏡子,「To dream alive means to have hope. It means that you hold on to your dream for dear life. To dream dead means that you dream without hope. You dream without holding on to your dream.」(p. 303)全書結語:

Floinda had told me that freedom is a toal absence of concern about oneself, a lack of concern achieved when the imprisoned bulk of energy within ourselves is untied. She had said that this energy is released only when we can arrest the exalted conception we have of ourselves, or our importance, an importance we feel must not be violated or mocked.
Zuleica's voice was clear but seemed to come from a great distance as she added, "The price of freedom is very high. Freedom can only be attained by dreaming without hope, by being willing to lose all, even the dream.
"For some of us, to dream without hope, to struggle with no goal in mind, is the only way to keep up with the bird of freedom." (Being-in-Dreaming, p. 303)

全書完。這本書重看花了兩個月,下台一鞠躬。
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 3979
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

Re: 小佛琳達《Being-in-Dreaming》摘讀系列

文章MORRIS » 2013-03-04, 17:00

SW:

感謝您的種樹,來者才可以輕鬆的乘涼。
佛陀拈花當時,我應在傻笑吧!....
(((Thanks a lot )))

Morris
MORRIS
 

Re: 小佛琳達《Being-in-Dreaming》摘讀系列

文章SW » 2019-08-17, 23:52

由 2019/07/27 開始,逐篇加上英文翻譯,方便大家閱讀。
SW
系統管理員
 
文章: 3979
註冊時間: 2012-03-05, 16:23
來自: 台灣台北

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